Saturday, May 29, 2010

Onward

I will be forever fascinated by the sight of teeny buildings and tiny toy cars. Forever five years old. Forever fascinated with the world, wide eyed and craving more and more.

I've always like flying, most times the lull of the engine puts me to sleep. Today I was out before we took off the ground. The people I sit next to probably think I'm a bore, maybe they're relieved they don't have to talk.

Never have I been more excited to see green grass, trees, and brown dirt, or land back in my home state. Oklahoma isn't a bad place to live, but it is by no means home. And I may not end up here my whole life but it will forever be my home and the place I love most.

I was so excited to give hugs when I saw everyone and was even more thrilled to realize it wasn't just Dad picking me up, but everyone. They all came! I am going to savor these moments with my family and the dog while I'm with them.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Evolution of a Roadtrip

Not the most poetic but, nonetheless all I can think to tell you about in this blog on the trip!

I woke up this morning and realized I was in my own apartment. It took me about two full seconds to realize that my road trip companions weren't in the bathroom, weren't eating breakfast, and weren't going to be strolling through the door. It wasn't a dream; the road trip is over.

So here I am sitting on my bed, reliving the memories I so recently created and I find myself with a twinge of depression. The months of planning this trip are now done. The memories have been made and I won't be able to just drive west any time soon. My excursion is done but my appetite for adventure has not been satiated.

I believe that each trip we take, literal or otherwise changes us. Looking at me you'd see nothing different. Yes, I'm technically a year older [having had my birthday on the road]. Yes, my skin is a little bit more brown than before I left and yes, I have 5 gb of pictures and video on my camera [what can I say I love photography and making montages] but I don't seem any different.

My car has a few more miles on it [4100+] and I managed to put a grapefruit sized dent in the back bumper [those rocks in Yosemite are tricky] but other than that, it too is the same.

So if I haven't look like I've changed and my surroundings are the same then why do I feel unsatisfied to be sitting here telling you about my trip? Maybe the 'travel bug' bit harder this time than I expected. I can't sit here and complain though, that would be selfish, and eventually we all have to come back to bills, junk mail, school emails, and the ever present tuition fees. My list of things to complete in the next week is already longer than I wish it to be and my motivation to complete it has never been so low.

But I know what you really came here to hear about is how the trip went and see some pictures. The video and pictures will be up soon. For now you'll just have to sit through the stories as I recollect them.

Sunday May 9th - Sunday May 23rd

I decided not to pack anything or get any of the food I would be preparing for the trip together until Sunday because I knew I'd be impatient to leave. Of course, with so many things to do I ended up slightly frazzled before I went over to pick up my tripmates. I was only a half hour later than expected and for me, that's pretty good. Monica and I had to wait on Jessica doing her Mother's Day afternoon shift until 4:30 so we sat impatiently waiting for her. In the moment she returned excitement for the journey grew tenfold and we were off in minutes. Our first stop would be outside of Amarillo to visit Jessica's aunt, a nun. Yes, we stayed at a convent and it was wonderful. Not so surprisingly, we've all stayed at a convent before.

It is so interesting to see how God lives in these women. His love leaks out of them. You can see it in their smiles, in their stories, in the singing, and in their hugs. Before we left the following day I hugged 30 nuns, I am not exaggerating.

Our first big driving day, 12 hours in the car with enough food to feed an army and enough music to last [almost] the whole trip. The scenery changed drastically as we drove out of Texas and through New Mexico and most of Arizona. It was both amazing to see how vast and open the west is and somehow still boring enough to fall asleep for a few hours.

We were heading to Phoenix to visit Marcus and his wife Gina, two people so enamored with life and helping others that knowing them makes you feel more hip. Yeah, that's right, I said hip. They've got the artistic vibe that I believe many people crave but most won't have the gumption to just go after. Trusting in God got them to where they are, in a new area of the country with new plans and a fresh start. Looking back on the trip I realized we stayed with people at all stages of life. Gina and Marcus' stage of life is exciting and inspiring. But that mirrors who they are, exciting and inspiring. Thanking them for letting us invade their lives doesn't seem enough.

So that first day when we got there in the evening we climbed 'A Mountain' [hope that IS that correct name]. The evening sun was setting over Phoenix and all its surrounding towns and we stood at the top of this mountain to look out and watch the last part of the day sizzle away. Planes flew overhead and there was something magical and peaceful about the views.

On this day we hiked up Phoenix's highest peak, Camelback Mountain. It would have been Gina too but their dog, even though full of energy, couldn't manage to climb up the mountain much. Thankfully Marcus had done the hike enough that he knew where we needed to go, especially on the hairier sections nearer to the top.

Climbing up, and even back down got me thinking. My life is a mountain, or at least many things in my life act as such. Starting new things isn't always the most exciting for me, mostly because it takes adjusting. It's funny to think though. I'm the type of person that orders something different on the menu each time [variety is the spice of life] and I went for undergrad to a school no one I knew went to and survived. What makes it funny is that I'm still hesitant toward change. The motto I've created for myself - "Nuttin to it but ta do it" really is fitting. The first step is always the hardest. Okay, back to the mountain metaphor. When you look at a mountain you are about to climb all you see is the peak, the shape it forms in the distance from your view so far below. Imagining yourself at the top seems impossible but that is just an illusion. When you start to take the steps towards things, when you look at the mountain as pieces it is much easier to conquer. Each step counts, they're all important in the 'mountain take-over'. They can be scary but they are always worth it. You can no doubt stumble but you'll make it if you keep moving forward. Eventually you get to the top, sweaty, but the view is what makes the hike so worth it. We could see Scottsdale and Phoenix, Tempe and Glendale, even the Indian Reservation. They seem so small and you wonder how you ever thought twice about giving things a hike. It was worth it. I'd never been a person to take things step by step. I still don't really stress over details, but with the changes in my life this past year you realize that the big picture isn't made fully until you get through the steps that got you there. So I've found my own peak and it seems so high up, but there are still more mountains to conquer.

After that hike a much needed homemade pizza was necessary and boy was it GOOD!

From Phoenix we ventured just a short drive [ha] to Yosemite. Another driving day. This time we made our way to Yosemite National Park [my favorite stop on our trip]. To ensure that we got there in ample time, mostly before dark and the bear boxes were still visible for us to set up camp, we left by 6 a.m. This is a large feat for two girls that are rarely punctual. Of course, wanting to prove to our third party we could get out in time we did it with a few minutes to spare.

Our trio stayed in the Housekeeping Camp [where I am sure I lost a precious life saving wool red plaid blanket]. I digress. The housekeeping camp is located in the valley so our views were amazing. Our cabin was right by the Merced River and we had views of Yosemite Falls and Half Dome from our tent.

We packed enough food to feed an army while we were there so we had a lot of food to munch on [after a long hike we were much like rabid beasts, so that was good]. Note to you the reader, there are small holes in bear boxes that squirrels can nibble through. I only tell you this because we had a hole chewed through in our pasta salad bag that did not come to our attention until after we finished eating. I have not contracted any rodent diseases that I know of...yet.

Let me address to you the importance of pants. No matter what time of year, no matter where you are, pants are always important to pack. Having told my two travelmates that it would be cold at night in our tent [being that the fourth curtained wall did not really block any cold from seeping in] I failed to pack more than a pair of cut off capri sweats. And I don't just mean some cute pair from VS, I mean boys sweat pants that I'm sure were either a hand me up or down from my beloved brothers. Lucky for me my sleeping back and said wool blanket kept me warm. I cannot say the same for Jessica and Monica, they rented blankets at 6 that next morning. Rule: Always, always pack pants. A jacket [which I did have, also comes in handy].

Our first, and unfortunately only, full day at the park we walked the Happy Trail and then the Mist Trail. The Mist Trail included the hike up to Vernal Falls and past that to Nevada Falls. What with it still being May the weather was still a little chilly we tried avoiding the water we came in contact with. I touched it once to know it was indeed very cold.

Not much to say about the views, you'll see the pictures/videos once I get them up. They were breathtaking. It's so nice to feel like you accomplished something, conquered the world.

Our next day [being as sore as we were] we decided to do some easy walking around El Capitan, Half Dome, as well as Bridalveil and Yosemite Falls.

I was sad to leave the shade and comfort of the trees, seeing them reminded me how much I miss them at home. Don't get me wrong, the desert plants in Arizona and New Mexico are fascinating, but I do miss the shade and green. And we all know I LOVE green! We pressed on for our next stop in Fresno to visit a roommate of Jessica's. The park got to keep some of my paint on my back bumper however, when I accidentally backed into one rock to avoid another. I now have a grapefruit size souvenir from the trip! I've never actually fancied myself a good driver so luckily that was our only car issue the entire trip [besides those scary wind noises in Nowhere New Mexico].

There were no shortage of laughs during those few days and the heat was intense compared to the cool weather of Yosemite [and we would find out soon enough LA as well]. We spent our first full day touring wine country in outside of Fresno. I cannot understand how anyone [besides the DD, which was myself] would get out of a wine tour without getting sloshed, and I mean SLOSHED. You think “refined” when you hear wine. Now, what I think of when I hear the words vineyard and wineries I think of sloppy people in decent dress. It was comical, driving through nowheresville California, amidst apricot and orange trees and everything smelled lovely.

We were fortunate enough to stumble upon the owner of the second winery we stayed at. A few of us wanted to see the stock room where things were barreled up [it was also nice and cool in there]. We followed a man who was getting more water to rinse your glasses out with and ended up following him right into the owner. I'm sure Joey loved talking to tipsy 20 somethings for the near hour we had with him. A good Italian man who had his heart set on joining the air force raised two sons with his wife to be grape and wine connoisseurs. He even let us take wine out of the tap before they were placed in the barrel; talk about tasty! We even were able to take a picture with him and our wine glasses.

On one of our other stops I ran into a classmate from my university, which we know is small. He had moved to Fresno after he graduated. I'd just like to know the odds of seeing someone from a school that has 1200 students total. I thought it impossible to really be him and so Jessica decided to whisper his name until he turned around to be sure it was him. Yes, that happened, and yes, it WAS funny.

We spent the next day heading to Millerton Lake outside of Fresno. It was intended to to be a beach day and it turned out to be comical if nothing else. It took us 20 minutes just to decide where we wanted to park ourselves. It made the situation that much more comical. We arrived early and only saw one other person at the muddy watering hole. She brought an over sized rug with her and had skin like leather. Apparently she went there often. Over the course of that morning and afternoon we were attached by bugs, played cards [thankfully we had four people so we could play Euchre], and had our ears overtaken by a large Hispanic group yelling at their dog. “CHICOOOOOO” They also had something that sounded like Spanish Kids Bop. The sun was so warm I ended up drinking practically boiled water and got a stellar [and by stellar I mean awful and funny] back tan; I didn't quite reach every part of my back. So, drinking water it is essential to relieve oneself. Yep, I peed in a muddy half dried up lake and it was awesome.

After we hit up the pool back at the apartment complex [and witness ducks mauling a young mother duck, EVIL] we set off for Los Angeles. Thanks to the working of my mother, we ended up staying with her cousin-in-law in a suburb of LA. That could not have turned out better. It was lovely. The weather on the way there was smoggy, damp, disgusting, and cold and wasn't in the works to let up. Tomorrow would be my birthday I didn't have a good feeling it would turn out quite as I had hoped.

The morning of my birthday we decided to be tourists but since I had no pants we ended up getting awkward stares form foreigners. We paid too much money to see Hollywood Blvd. blocked off for a red carpet event, walked three miles and yet didn't manage to figure out what was so great about the Sunset Strip, got lost too many times, and ended up sitting in the car longer than necessary. Venice Beach, I have decided, is quite possibly the most disgusting place to go [especially when it's cold out]. I'd rather pee in a watering hole than the toilet I had to use there. Skater dudes there are funny to watch fall, the list goes on and on. We ended up going to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner and eating dessert from the Cheesecake Factory. I was happy for the day to end.

The next day we toured Santa Monica and Beverly Hills on our way out of the city. SoCal redeemed itself in them and looking back I wish we had visited the San Fernando Valley, Burbank, Ventura Highway [everything not in downtown LA]. I suppose I'll have to visit it at some other point and avoid all things stereotypical about LA. Yuck.

Our next stop was to Las Vegas to stay at Harrah's. We were upgraded to a suite which we didn't use but it was free. Since we were there midweek it cost us far less than it would have if we were there on a weekend.

I wanted to look presentable in the city of Sin and actually wore makeup and dried my hair. I brought heels to wear. As we rushed to make a showing of Menopause the Musical on the opposite side of the strip I acquired a blister so bodacious we did a video about it. I walked the majority of the strip barefoot [disgusting, no?] and washed them off in the bathroom before the show began. Again, I have no communicable diseases to speak of, as of yet. After the show ended by the time we made it to our restaurant of choice it was 11 p.m. I had only eaten breakfast that day. We were starved. With dinner we had coupons for margaritas. I ate and drank so fast I was uncomfortable by the time I'd gotten into my second drink. Or maybe it was impromptu lap dance from a random shirtless stranger that I received for my birthday [this is me cringing]. We ended up looking at the rest of the strip before heading to bed. Rather tame time in Vegas, again, another taste for something I'll have to go back and explore more.

The next day we took our time lounging at the pool in Las Vegas and driving to Williams, Arizona where we stayed before our hour drive to the Grand Canyon. We ate at Roger's Steakhouse. Their menus were steer shaped pieces of paper [I acquired one for scrap-booking purposes].

The Grand Canyon tour consisted of a small aircraft tour of the canyon, a Native American dance, an open air truck ride to Antelope Canyon to see the artistic work of flash floods, a boat ride down the Colorado River [thank you for the tan!], and finally an RV tour of the canyon's wildlife. FYI, it costs $25 to get into the park for the week. Since our driver would not let us off to take pictures we had to pay that much to simply look down the sides of the canyon. In the end, it was worth it. The whole two days we were there were worth it.

On our way out of the Grand Canyon we decided to go another 100 miles to see the Four Corners. They have a monument. The monument is closed. At least we didn't have to pay $3 per person to view the chain linked fence and pee in their portapotties. By the way, they do have regular toilets there [but were out of our sight because all we saw was a hole in the ground and construction. Needless to say, another funny video was taken to document this historic moment in our trip. What's a few more hundred miles when you drive 4100 anyway.

We stopped in Albuquerque to sleep part of the night before we ended up back at the convent outside of Amarillo the next day.

That last day at the convent we attended mass, had our prayer service, and were prayed over by the nuns. Talk about safe travels back. The time there was peaceful, but I'm still not sure how they were their habits in the Texas heat.

We made it back Sunday night. Two weeks. Gone in a flash. Totally worth it, and luckily UNDER BUDGET!!! I'm ready for another trip, another experience to help open my eyes.


Rules I've learned on this trip in no particular order:
1. 25 Road trip music compilations were a good idea but I could have made ten more and we'd still be repeating. Lesson learned: You drive more miles than expected.
2. Heels are cute but not worth the blisters in Las Vegas when you're hiking down the entire strip to see a show about "the change."
3. No matter the time of year or the weather, bring more than one sweatshirt and pack pants.
4. Sleeping bags are God's gift to campers in Yosemite [even if the zipper breaks].
5. Stop and stare at the stars for as long as your neck holds out when you're in a national park. The view will never be topped.
6. Cheese sticks only hold out only so long before their liquid separates and they must be milked out of their package.
7. Watch out for rocks. Period.
8. Pissing off locals while you're lost in a car is bound to happen. Politely wave and say this Great Escape Motto : "We're not from arouuuuund here" It works most times.
9. Most truck drivers don't want to honk for you, thank those that do with extra flailing of the arms.
10. Even though you may want to, chasing bears is not safe. Keep your 150 feet distance. And yes, I have bear chasing footage.
11. Makeup is never required on a road trip [unless you are in Vegas, then more is necessary]. Showering, too, is not required daily. You're likely to put on dirty clothes anyway.
12. Unless you plan your birthday to a T in the appropriate locations downtown LA is likely to disappoint.
13. Even though one tripmate may consider trees to look similar, Yosemite is much more than a forest. Stay a few days longer and book earlier. I could go back and hike the same thing tomorrow and still be satisfied.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Coming Soon


Information about my Great Escape out west will be coming soon. It'll take me a while to compile everything I want to share with you [plus post the pictures and make the videos]. Check back by the end of this week. It will all be up by then.

As an overview, I had tons of fun. Didn't die, no car accidents, tickets, or mishaps. Still have all my limbs too. Spent less money than budgeted [sweet!] and wish I was going on another two week excursion.

Loved Phoenix and Arizona in general.
Was in LA for my 23rd and what with the weather stinking a big one and going to all the wrong places in the area [downtown tourist central zone] the day was another birthday to laugh off. Santa Monica was super cute though, wish I could have seen San Fernando Valley and Burbank but only had the day and a half.
Was excited to get back to Yosemite and loved every minute of it.
Loved all our other stops as well.

P.S. Did you know they can close down the Four Corners?!?! They can.

Anyway, good times, good times. And since we had a bunch of nuns praying for us we were extra sure to be safe!

Check back end of this week!
SYLYB

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Appetite for Life

On occasion, I feel a little overzealous-ed and my creative juices get flowing. Today is one of those days where I want to be experiencing it ALL. And so, here is my latest addition to the blog.

Sometimes we get lost on the road to where we want to be. Sometimes others influence where this journey is taking us, but it is not theirs; it is our own to determine. And life is just that, a journey.

Choices. Ifs. Adventure.

I don't want to get lost on my own journey, I want to work to fulfill every piece of it. I'm working to make every decision I make a good one, so the next one is just as good - Creating a rippling effect, a good choice avalanche of sorts.

I want to get the most out of the years I have here on this beautiful planet. I want to preserve that planet for generations to come -- call me an Earth Muffin. I want to learn all the time -- call my desire insatiable. I want to travel and see sights and hear stories -- I want to listen and learn from others so I can learn about myself. I make jokes and take little about myself seriously -- call me a feel good entertainer for my family and friends; I strive to be sunshine in their lives, the warmth, the brightness [and no, I don't mean it in the "the world revolves around me sense" although if that's how my future husband would like to treat me would be JUST fine]. I study nutrition because I believe what we put in our bodies is directly seen outside of it --it is in our good complexions, our shiny hair, our strong bones and muscles; I want to keep my body as fit as it can be so I can be here as long as my time is allotted for me. I don't know if nutrition is the medium for how my journey will travel, but for now, for now at least dietetics will suffice, until the next leg of the journey begins.

There is no point in waiting around for something, carpe diem, wage war against fear. That is the first step to enjoying living. Not just being alive, but living and loving life. So while I get the most out of what I've got the chance to take part in...keep feeding me, because I have an appetite: for good food, good company, great living.

Live your own life, choose, write your story.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Discovering What Makes Me...Me

Took a few quizzes to determine how I tick as a person. I know, from my freshman year in high school that my Myers-Briggs test shows I am an INTP. My test on right or left brained dominance shows:
Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz
The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others.
Left Brain Dominance: 16(16)
Right Brain Dominance: 16(16)

Not all too helpful, ha.

And finally, as an assignment for class my strengths are as follows [out of 34 possible options these are my top five].

Your Signature Themes

Many years of research conducted by The Gallup Organization suggest that the most effective people are those who understand their strengths and behaviors. These people are best able to develop strategies to meet and exceed the demands of their daily lives, their careers, and their families.

A review of the knowledge and skills you have acquired can provide a basic sense of your abilities, but an awareness and understanding of your natural talents will provide true insight into the core reasons behind your consistent successes.

Your Signature Themes report presents your five most dominant themes of talent, in the rank order revealed by your responses to StrengthsFinder. Of the 34 themes measured, these are your "top five."

Your Signature Themes are very important in maximizing the talents that lead to your successes. By focusing on your Signature Themes, separately and in combination, you can identify your talents, build them into strengths, and enjoy personal and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

Futuristic

“Wouldn’t it be great if . . .” You are the kind of person who loves to peer over the horizon. The future fascinates you. As if it were projected on the wall, you see in detail what the future might hold, and this detailed picture keeps pulling you forward, into tomorrow. While the exact content of the picture will depend on your other strengths and interests—a better product, a better team, a better life, or a better world—it will always be inspirational to you. You are a dreamer who sees visions of what could be and who cherishes those visions. When the present proves too frustrating and the people around you too pragmatic, you conjure up your visions of the future and they energize you. They can energize others, too. In fact, very often people look to you to describe your visions of the future. They want a picture that can raise their sights and thereby their spirits. You can paint it for them. Practice. Choose your words carefully. Make the picture as vivid as possible. People will want to latch on to the hope you bring.

Strategic

The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path—your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Input

You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

Maximizer

Excellence, not average, is your measure. Taking something from below average to slightly above average takes a great deal of effort and in your opinion is not very rewarding. Transforming something strong into something superb takes just as much effort but is much more thrilling. Strengths, whether yours or someone else’s, fascinate you. Like a diver after pearls, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. A glimpse of untutored excellence, rapid learning, a skill mastered without recourse to steps—all these are clues that a strength may be in play. And having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it toward excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines. This natural sorting of strengths means that others see you as discriminating. You choose to spend time with people who appreciate your particular strengths. Likewise, you are attracted to others who seem to have found and cultivated their own strengths. You tend to avoid those who want to fix you and make you well rounded. You don’t want to spend your life bemoaning what you lack. Rather, you want to capitalize on the gifts with which you are blessed. It’s more fun. It’s more productive. And, counterintuitively, it is more demanding.

Interesting, very interesting...although I probably could have told you futuristic would have been my first one and that learning would be in my top 5.






Sunday, April 18, 2010

Writing History

I've spent the past three hours cutting out Calcium bookmarks for a children's fair at the zoo. Yes, you heard right.

Things are thankfully, and unfortunately for the workload, coming to a close with classes. Next week I have a paper due in my Biology of Human Aging on 'changes in metabolism as you age' that requires only peer reviewed articles. I haven't started. I work better under a bit of pressure, and obviously working on bookmarks for tomorrow is more important than a paper, ha.

I did a health fair at the YMCA today and again doing things tomorrow at the zoo. No telling when you'll work.

Came home to find the house smells of nearly burnt chicken which is funny considering I'm actually skillful in the kitchen. So what if I like to experiment and end up messing up, it's all about the experience along the way, right? It is both a blessing and a curse that no one but myself had to eat the chicken concoction I created. Wizardly in the kitchen...until I find out the smoke point of Pam happens sooner than the smoke point of EVOO [yeah, I abbreviated extra virgin olive oil].

It's been raining the past three days and while it does not make for a productive week/end I have found that it is comforting. The constant blowing wind took the day off to pass drops of water from the clouds. My slowly dirtying car has received its own car wash, no more red dirt particles or pollen. The dormant grass is turning green and the weather is as it would be at home [mid 50s]. It is comforting and the growing amounts of green almost reminds me of home, trees, grass, rain on the windshield of the car. No howling, just silence.

The longer I am here experiencing the weather Oklahoma has to offer I'm determining that I really am writing my own history, making my own story, and coming up with things. Oklahoma, the chapter after my undergrad, the chapter after CCHS, and so on and so on. I'm not saying my story is meant for a biography - I'm not fast paced or fascinating [I have one speed...slow] but it is something I will be proud to say I took the leap of faith to apply for and experience.

Writing a story worth reading, a story with a [hopefully] happy ending.

Write on.

MYLYB

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fear

We are creatures of habit because we like to control things. Fear is something every person has and many of our fears can be classified out of our need to control; our need to see the entire situation, everything.

Fear of the unknown.
Fear of the future.
Fear of change.
Fear of the ocean.
Fear of the dark.
Fear of aging.
Fear of flying.
Fear of new situations or places.

We strive so much to keep things in our deeply organized comfort zone that we fail to realize that putting ourselves in places of fear allows us to grow, to conquer what scares us, to take life by the horns and lead the way. By conquering that fear we are literally taking better control. It really is all about that first step; nothing to it but to do it [my personal phrase for being a procrastinator, telling myself in the mirror, though not as often as I should].

I have been praying for clarity since I've come here to Oklahoma [what do I do next, where do I go, what's the next step, how do I know I'm making the right decision, where is a SIGN?]. It doesn't work that way though, does it?... no, of course not. No one has clarity on their path in life, an owners manual would take all the fun and all the life lessons out of things. I digress. I realize now clarity is not something I can just get by praying for it or wishing on a shooting star, and definitely not something I should expect at least. I should simply pray for trust and patience [as I have also been doing] so that when I am meant to take that next step I take it on with all the passion of a person with a plan, a plan laid out for me long ago.

So tonight, I won't pray for clarity. Tonight I'll continue to pray for patience and trust in the Lord. Tonight I hope that you will do the same.

SYLYB

Sunday, April 11, 2010

April Sunshine

It's been a lot longer than I expected to be since I last updated the blog. Mom left this past Wednesday after her week long stay, a much needed visit.

It's funny, I have only lived here for three complete months; exactly three months ago was my first day at the hospital. So many experiences had so far and still so many still yet to have. I'm already thinking about how the rest of the summer will fly by and I'll be starting clinicals before I know it. Clinicals, the dreaded clinicals. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be extremely open minded but I know where my passions and 'likes' lie and it does not involve charts. I go the way of wellness and overall health, art projects and crafts, organizing and list making. Details about a person's pre-albumin levels or hematocrit aren't really my forte. I just need to get through them and I'll be fine. Where I'll end up when I'm done is still a mystery [location, profession, etc], and funny enough by the time I finish with those ten weeks I should probably be looking for a job, or something. Of course, I'll have to wait six weeks before I can take the boards exam to ACTUALLY become registered and licensed...logistics. [Audibly loud *sigh placed here] One step at a time.

I'm not attached, have no dire need to go back to Ohio [although I love Ohio with every fiber of my being, it will forever be home], I'm ready for whatever adventure, whichever way the path takes me. Again, trusting and praying for clarity and patience is essential here.

So, in the mean time, to fill the void of loneliness and heartache from being away from my loved ones those hundreds of miles away I'm making little retreats to look forward to. There is the obvious road trip west that I am extremely excited for [I made a 500+ playlist for the car today which took surprisingly way too much time...okay, that's not ACTUALLY surprising]. My new friends and I also created a List of things we need to do while we're out here. Middle America means getting as many experiences as I can, despite the rumors that I have heard there is not much to do around here. We're planning trips around the Oklahoma area, down to Texas, and making sure to do certain activities while we are in the area that we haven't done in a long time [ergo the roller skating shenanigans]. I've also agreed to take part in Muddy Buddies [http://muddy-buddy.competitor.com/] in October, which will be interesting since I loathe running of any kind, although 7 miles total of running, biking, and obstacle courses can't be that bad. Never mind that though, think about all the mud, and obviously the laughter. That should be about the time I finish up with my clinical rotations as well. Celebratory romp in the mud anyone?

In other news I walked ten miles yesterday with Monica and Carie around Lake Hefner [http://www.google.com/maps that business]. Nice stretch of the legs and sunshine on my shoulders.

Yes, this weekend was quite enjoyable, a little poolside action, a few movies, some frozen yogurt, a few restaurants, putt putting, and a completely unnecessary but much appreciated VEG OUT day. I should have worked on homework, projects or papers, but really, I'd rather waste time on my beloved Macintosh. I work better under some pressure anyway. This week I pledge to be more productive than I was not this weekend. You heard it here first folks. I'll keep to that word, I have to, deadlines are coming up!

Online locations I wasted my time today:

iTunes store
youtube.com
apple.com/trailers
imdb.com
facebook.com
hulu.com
google.com

Miss you. Love you. Bye.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Cowboys and Indians

I live in a state that is known for its number of Native Americans. It's on the license plates and state flag. It's part of the culture and history and every day life. But not just that, there are good ole boys that dress in cowboy boots and their big hats to go out on the town too. It really is different than being at home. Funny thing is, I'm starting not to notice it as much as I did when I first got down here, which means I'm getting used to seeing it. Thankfully, I still notice the accents people have. I'm going to keep my "accent free" speech if you don't mind, maybe that makes me exotic here in Oklahoma, maybe not.

In other news, I feel like the winter has never been so long. It's much more mild here and I have no reason to complain about the weather. Overall, however, I really am ready for green and sunshine. The flowers are in full bloom outside of church; the minute you walk out after mass you can smell the fragrance from ten different types of flowers. It's magnificent. The trees are starting to bud and bloom. Even the grass is not entirely brown. The weeds are starting to pop up as green which leads me to believe the grass will be soon to follow. I'm not quite clear about when the wind is going to stop whipping [I've been told it will not] but I'm hoping that it does stop. Nothing good comes of it for my hair!

I'm glad to see my favorite nephew is visiting Nathan, I'm sure it is doing them both good and the facebook pictures are adorable.

Mom is flying in on Wednesday to visit, which makes me very happy. Of course, I have a few things due this week [the semester is surprisingly, approaching quicker than expected]. I have new classes to sign up for, more student loans to apply for, and the rest of the road trip to plan. Hopefully there is lodging somewhere in Yosemite for a relatively inexpensive price. We'll get to that when it isn't so hectic this week. We've got a test Tuesday, a project due Thursday, and a presentation due Thursday. What's more, there's thing on top of that for next week that I'll have to work on [and go figure it's all the week Mom is here visiting].

I'll keep you informed how things go after Mom head back home [when things aren't so hectic...then again, you might see something while she is here and we're enjoying each others' company.


SYLYB

P.S. the State Capital was actually interesting. Our class even got announced during the Senate debate. Got to have lunch at Big Truck Taco while we had a break after class and before our arrival at the capital building. So good and so...um, fragrant [my hands smelled the entire day of pork and Mexican seasoning].


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring Cleaning

My Pepper Jack South of the Border Egg Breakfast and Tropical Mango Smoothie with Roasted Vegetables for dinner, and you can sure bet I ate that WHOLE plate and drank that WHOLE drink!

Enjoy the last bit of National Nutrition Month, but be health conscious all year :)

Tomorrow I get to go to the State Capital to learn about Nutrition in Public Policy. Can I get a woop woop?

....Yeah, I wouldn't woop woop either.

National Spring Cleaning Week is coming up - March 30th through April 5th. http://springcleaningweek.com/

I'm not advertising for you to give a hardcore cleaning to your beloved home [although, hey, if you're up for the challenge go for it]. I'll be doing some housekeeping of my own, mostly with papers I've accumulated and the cans I've been neglecting to take to the recycling center. That's probably why my pantry smells a bit less than fresh. I digress. What I'm really getting at is the mental clutter and this four letter word that starts with an 's' and ends with a 't'. Everything accumulates. I recently saw the movie Up In The Air with George Clooney. He fires people for a living but he also does motivational speaking [while his messages are, ehem, wrong, they do offer a fresh look at things]. He talks about the weight of stuff and how if our house caught on fire we could do without everything that's burning down inside of it. Interesting how he mentions the photos are worthless but his character had no human contact of any real kind. So, that doesn't say much.

Things are that, just things. They weigh us down and hold us back. When I came out to Oklahoma I had a truck full of stuff, now to live properly I really do need dishes and towels and toothpaste, but all the extra things - the things that you can't seem to part with but have no desire to keep around are cluttering up our minds. I left a room full of things at home that are just like that. When I go home December 19th I'll be doing a deep cleaning.

Broken jewelry, birthday cards upon birthday cards that didn't stand out, unloved books on shelves, or my absolute favorite "I can't remember what this is but I'm sure I'll need it after I throw it away so I'll tuck it where I can't find it until someone asks Why did Dad keep this?" Dad, you are notorious for keeping things we don't remember what they're for. Now, books and tins are probably the one things I will not get rid of unless I detest them, mostly because when I'm old I'll probably become a librarian [I love the smell of the library, the solitude, the atmosphere, the organizational system, and on and on] and because tins are beautiful. Period.

Not only that, but as Lent is nearly complete we've been walking around with the weight of our sins on our shoulders. Having gone to confession yesterday I've begun my mental spring cleaning. I've started fresh. I'm cleaning out the emotional and mental gunk. Besides the trees are starting to bud, the weather is turning warmer, and people are emerging from their pent up homes. There really is no better time to clean out the cobwebs from our hearts and homes then when everything is starting over. Start moving around, exercising in the sunshine and sweeping out the corners. Open the windows and let the Vitamin D start working.

I read a book at the library, and I'm hoping it's Apartment Therapy Something Something [or I'll be sorry I forgot because that book's worth a second look]. It discussed making your home something you love to come home to, something you want to look at and feel serene, something that when you look at the shelves you don't wonder where all that crap came from. It goes with wanting only what you have and needing less. That makes me think about living for the future generations, saving the environment, and being a better person.

Speaking of being a better person, St. Lea [my confirmation saint] had her feast day Monday March 22nd. She came from a home of wealth but after her husband passed away she gave it all up and became a religious, living a simple life with few possessions and praising God. Most [not all] times I make a purchase I think about whether I'm living simply or not. I'm still working on it, it is a constant battle.

If and when you do your spring cleaning this year, I encourage you, as I am doing myself, to reevaluate what is important to you. Clean out the physical clutter, mental clutter, and emotional clutter. And I encourage you to really dust because if you're going to dust really well, make it on a day you'll probably be sneezing anyway.

P.S. I'm homesick. And as any less than stellar day can go, wondering where my life is taking me, praying fervently for clarity and patience, and knowing full well that my life is never taking me back to age 8 when spelling tests were all that mattered and splinters were the worst things in the world, well, besides getting sick the day before you leave for Disney World. I want to be 5 again because I trusted wholeheartedly that Mom and Dad would take care of everything and I wouldn't have to worry. Not about bills or loans, boys or sitting up straight, looking professional or the future...

MYLYB.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Shut In

Close all the blinds, double lock the door. Put on your favorite sweats and grab a blanket with the television. Snuggle under the covers in bed for far longer than necessary with a book and take a bath to have a cocoon of heat surround you to drown out the wind against the windows.

Yes, this was my weekend. I did venture out twice, good company [be it at church with Jesus or with friends a few miles away] is worth braving the elements. It's not that it is too terrible outside, rather it is simply that I've gotten comfortable with warmer weather and deserve a weekend to be a slug.

I still hate the wind.

Friday was my last day of my management rotations and I am happy to announce that I passed with flying colors and am 1/3 of the way done with this year long journey of higher higher education. Nothing struck my fancy in the world of Nutrition and Food Service [preparing partially finished meals for the masses is not my cup of tea, nor is dealing with petty drama which inevitably happens when you have a group of people together].

Food, instead, for me is about passion. Food for me is about forgetting how and why your brain works and more about why it tastes so good and why chopping up food and hearing it sizzle in a pan is so therapeutic. Don't get me wrong, sometimes the last thing I want to do is prepare and then clean. Sometimes I'm too lazy to do anything beyond pull out the cereal box [forget about milk, that's too difficult]. Overall though, cooking is an expression of art and is a way to show others you love and care for them. "Here look what I made you, I'm showing you how much I love you, I worked to do this." What do people do when a loved one dies? Make a casserole and drop it off at their house. What do you do when you first go on a date and meet someone? Eat over conversation [even awkward conversation is better with food; you can distract yourself with food]. What do you celebrate birthdays with? Food and cake...well, pie at my house. No store bought nothing in my place of residence, weak! [Chuckle]. Should I go on about how food brings people together and shows you love them? Okay, good.

Still, I'm wondering where in life I'll go and what, if nothing beyond a learning experience of life, living, and myself, this time in Oklahoma will do for my career. I wonder if this is the path for me. Is nutrition really what you want to spend your time teaching people about? Especially people reluctant to see that proper food and exercise is PREVENTION of health issues and that is really way less expensive than surgeries and medication.

We'll see where I'm going, but in the mean time I'm continuing to pray for patience and the fog to be lifted as the time is right for my next move. I guess I'll just enjoy the experience of middle America a while longer :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Wild Irish Rose

Dear Family & Friends,

Tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day, a holiday I am proud to take part in [and take very seriously]! Please be safe on this wonderful day and enjoy the company of those around you [Irish and non-Irish alike].

Nathan, here's a Harp in your name, Happy Birthday!!!

Check the video for some updating on daily events...if you like,



Love,

Your Wild Irish Rose

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Touch

Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls

Merriam-Webster defines sensual as "relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite. Fleshy"

The more I have paid attention to my own behaviors the more I realize I am ruled by my senses. I am a sensual person. I mean that in the most innocent way possible. Honestly. I love each sense for very different reasons, sight, sound, smell, taste. You're constantly being surrounded by moments to sit around and enjoy the simple and beautiful pleasures of your senses. People get so caught up in doing, doing, doing that they forget to just stop and simply "be."

Since I have been here in Oklahoma my senses have been on a field day. Different things to hear and see and smell. Unfortunately, there is one sense I feel I took for granted while I was home, the one sense that hasn't been getting so much attention, and one sense I love so terribly much.

Pop quiz, which sense did I NOT mention in the first paragraph? ... Hint, it's the title of this blog.

When I was younger and I'd go shopping with mom and get bored quickly. I remember walking around behind her touching all the different materials, comparing how some were soft and some where textured. Funny how some things don't change. I do the exact same things, maybe more-so now. Anyway, I remember hiding between the racks and sitting there, the sounds of the mall were muffled by the layers of clothes and the lights were blocked out. I could sit and touch every shirt sleeve in sight without having to keep moving. I could savor every single texture. Of course, I lost sight of Mom many times because of those adventures, thank heavens she had a bell on her key chain that I could follow after to find her again.

My blanket is proof of my love of all things soft, that blue blanket [my bu bankie] was like butter between my fingers. I love soft things in general I guess, especially on me, soft lips, smooth legs, buffed feet, silky hands. I am perpetually covered in lotion. Oh, yes, I have quite the skin regiment.

I love a hot shower. It is one of my most favorite things. I love the feel of hot water on my back, of the light pressure from every drop. I love the sensation of pulling back the curtain to feel the steam escape around me and cool air to fill my lungs. I LOVE a good shower. You can clear your head, say some solid prayers, and literally [as well as figuratively] wash away the day's grime. It's a fresh start.

So you get the picture right? I love the sense of touch. Maybe my nerve endings are on higher alert than the normal person, who knows! Being here has made me appreciate that sense more though. Kisses and hugs [especially from Mom, she gives the best hugs, she's the perfect height], a soft puppy on my lap, a solid high five, a comforting stroke or pat from a friend, the feeling of water rushing around me in the pool. So easy to overlook and so hard not to miss. And I do miss those simple joyous pleasures.

When I come home, all I'm going to say is this: I expect hugs, and lots of them. MYLYB

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Roller Skating

I will be the first to admit that I'm athletically challenged, not the most graceful, and ridiculously quirky. That being said, enjoy me making a fool of myself in this video.


Sunny Days

Surely I can get used to this. It's, what, March 6th and here I am with my windows open. That's right, the past few days it's been above 60 outside and I'm taking full advantage of any circulating air I can. Stale air is so, last week. Yeah, we can pretend I didn't write that.

Things are coming to a close with my management rotation and I've gotten along and gotten comfortable with the people there, I'm glad people are more apt to liking me than not, or at least acting like it. But it's time to move on; I have two weeks left of my management experience, and as you've seen I've already been working on my community hours [you've read my WIC newsletter below, right?] I'm happy to be moving on to something different and gaining different experiences in all sorts of different places - renal facilities, WIC clinics, Diabetes camps, and on and on and on... The really great thing is just knowing that one third of my rotations are done. It's not that I don't really enjoy being here, it IS however a lot of work day after day. All those months I had no work and nothing to do were to make up for the constant busyness that I'm going through this year.

I recently ordered and received essential oils in the mail. I added them to the cleaning supplies I made that work phenomenally. I just feel better about cleaning the apartment with healthier and cheaper cleaners than mystery foams in a can. Thank heavens for vinegar and baking soda! Hooray. I think it's a little happy accomplishment to come home after work and know I'm going to find my bed in my room. I just like the apartment being clean, "everything in its place" sort of logic.

My bruises from the damage done during the roller skating outing changing to every color of the rainbow imaginable. Oh, how the body heals. Speaking of that, I got my Biology of Human Aging test grade [which deals with how your body works when you're old, slightly depressing, mostly interesting] back this week. Not too shabby, I'll take a B, and next time I'll study a bit more. My Education Research class had a grouped test on Thursday, group test, hoping we did swimmingly.

In other news, I'd like to announce that I'm proof taking multivitamins and Calcium with Citrate supplements works. My nails used to break and chip earlier in the management rotation because I would constantly be washing them. Now they grow faster and stronger and aren't chipping at all [knock on wood]. If you ever needed a good enough reason to start taking supplements here's my urging you to do so. Round out things in your diet with a supplement, we all need help [but don't go overboard, too much of a good thing ISN'T a good thing. It can, after all, be deadly].

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday, I'm going to hit up a brewery later on tonight after church, one of our 'Things To Do' we can check off on the list. I'll put up my roller skating video this weekend so check back....if you want

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Homeward Bound

3.2.07 Bluffton's Bus Accident Anniversary. This year, the youngest student that died would have graduated. After graduation, people will just see the Circle of Remembrance and think of it as something that happened a while back, back before they were there, ancient history, but it's only been three years. Three years and a million light years later...

Those are my stacks of bills sitting there on the table begging payments with money I don't have. That's my apartment key and nobody else's, I made the mess in the kitchen. That's my car sitting there in the lot and I have to scrape ice off in the morning, no garage to park. Here I sit with books and bills, with days that fly and moments that fleet.

You learn quickly the importance of savoring moments, of living life for now because it is all too precious. You learn and yet it keeps on going. Sometimes I wonder why it is we work so hard to accomplish so little in what matters most to us. You can go to work, come home, and have nothing to say at all. Life is the time you make of what's not spent making money [that necessary evil]. If I could just make it easy and live to help myself and others, if only.

If I didn't have to work, I'd probably sit in a very clean apartment baking for family and friends. I'd probably make my crafts, I'd write letters to send in the mail. Who says you have to save all that for retirement when the cataracts set in and your joints don't function so well. I want to do it now. I want to savor it all. I want an open door and possibility. And that's why I'm planning my road trip. Thank goodness I have friends that want to take the journey with me.

I watched the tail end [no pun intended] of Homeward Bound today. That moment at the end where the oldest son thinks the dog didn't make it because he's old got to me. I miss my family dearly. And I know, as does everyone, that feeling you get when something ends: a life, a relationship, a job you loved. It's when change sets in to move you on to some other adventure. It's scary, but its real life. I suppose its the little things at the end of the day that make me miss my family, ache for their company. Just seeing that family together celebrating their reunion brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't much of a crier, what HAPPENED?

Miss you. Love you. Bye

Monday, March 1, 2010

Water & Hydration

During the month of March I'm getting community hours by writing newsletters for a employees at a WIC [Women, Infants, and Children] Clinic here in OKC. Here's the one I sent in today:
“Nutrition From the Ground Up”
March has finally arrived and with it so has National Nutrition Month! The campaign, sponsored by the American Dietetic Association, is used to help better display “informed food choices and developing sound eating and physical activity habits”. This year's theme is Nutrition From the Ground Up, and what better way to start from the ground up than at a cellular level with water intake.

Your Hydration Station
On average water accounts for 60% - 70% of your total body weight and water is essential for the stability of many bodily functions. It plays a role as a structural component in cellular form and transports nutrients throughout the body. Water also helps in the processes of digestion, absorption, and excretion.
Unlike some nutrients, your body cannot store water for later use. You must continuously supply your body to maintain your best level of health and efficiency. On average men should consume 125 ounces of water a day and women, 91 ounces. These numbers account for total water intake, including the food that you eat. About 25% of your water intake is through food alone.
Drink to Your Health!
Even if you do not think you are thirsty chances are your body could stand a few ounces sent down. As your age your 'thirst mechanism' gets weaker even though your need remains the same. So drink to a better complexion, feel fuller and in turn eat less, and feel more productive at work [your brain is made up of mostly water after all].
Tips on Getting It All In
  • Set a timer each hour as a reminder to drink a glass.
  • Add flavoring like lemon or lime slices for as a refreshing twist.
  • Eat fruits and vegetables high in water, like lettuce, cucumbers, watermelon and oranges.
  • Milk, coffee, tea, fruit juices, and broths count too [just watch your sugar and sodium intake]
  • Carry a reusable bottle with you wherever you go so it's always on hand.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Independence...best weekend so far

I'd like to start off by saying that I am so sorry I was not able to be home this weekend or last. If I were any closer I would have been in the car to be with my family and friends during celebration and distress. Know that my mind and heart was with you though.

It has been a long time coming I think. Terrified of change, terrified of having to do things on my own but there's something freeing about overcoming that fear.

I think its now starting to hit me more. I remember Mom told me how I was the child that didn't want to be held or cuddled on; my brothers loved that. I don't think that marked me as a person that doesn't like to be touched or hugged [I do love it now, and moreover I love touching things. If you've ever been shopping with me you realize I touch everything all the time, the groceries, the shirts on their hangers, the shoes, and craft supplies, etc]. What I do think is that maybe that told my mother early on that one day I would be independent. It may have taken some time to spread out my wings but I feel like being so far from home forces you, thrusts you, into a new situation where you must take control. Not just take control though, own the life you lead.

If I want to go grocery shopping, I don't wait on anyone but myself. If there's laundry to be done, it is my task alone. If I think it'd be a good idea to go to the store and buy a dress [which I've decided is going to be my new staple piece, just as soon as I get a few more] then I will do it. If I want to plan a trip to California and back, then not a soul will stop me on my journey there.

Long story short, I am gaining my independence. Mom, no need to worry about me all the time.

In other news, as usual...
I had the best weekend here. I am sore, bruised, and in need of another day before Monday, but it was just what I could have hoped for. The Wellness Center, movies and lounging with some enchiladas Friday night after errands on Friday. Domestic work, a walk around Lake Hefner [gorgeous weather], Panera, church, and roller skating [post getting lost on the way there] on Saturday. Swimming, TV, and homework on Sunday. I had hoped on going dress shopping but I'll wait until my loans come in for that, don't necessarily want to go to the mall by myself. I'm independent but I'm not a loner. I plan on taking a bath and lighting some candles too.

Yep, good weekend.

Oh, the bruises you ask? Yeah, bit the dust twice in a row at the rink. Damn kids need to slow down and not shove, possibly get some manners too. And I say kids because most everyone was twelve. A video on youtube highlighting that excursion is to follow shortly. Check back on here for it to be posted, or get on youtube, or get on facebook, you've got options.

I have three weeks left before my management rotation is over, I have the Oklahoma Dietetic Association conference at the end of the month to attend and will be getting some community hours. I'm writing articles on nutrition for WIC employees this month since it's NATIONAL NUTRITION MONTH in March. And in case you were wondering, National Dietitian Day is March 1oth.

I miss my parents, my brothers, my dog. I miss my cousin, my best friend, all my friends, and my energetic nephew. I think about you all a ton but am enjoying this part of my journey.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

As Great As...

As great as I've been doing there are still those days you just want to curl up in a corner and lock out the world. Yeah, crying at the drop of a hat is actually awesome...not, but sometimes it is necessary [according to me at least]. Today is one of those days. That's when you ask Maria for advice and she says "Don't have a pity party, do something happy."

Great advice that's not always the easiest to follow.

The weeks are rolling by wonderfully. I have finished 6 of my weeks and have four left to do. My last day is March 19th. This is great and yet many things are coming up and need to be turned in: major projects, in-depth studies, surveys, and school projects that must be in. Yeah, I'm a bit overwhelmed. But I chose this and I have to muster up the gumption to just GET. IT. DONE.

Gramma and Grampa's 60th Anniversary party is today, most everyone is there. They know I'd be there if I could but I miss seeing them. I miss seeing all my family.

Not really feeling saying much else, when I'm in a better mood you'll hear all the good stuff, all the boring stuff. Everything.

MYLYB

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Plan

So You Know How I'm Feeling, I'm 'Bout to Get All God's Message on You All:

It is of my opinion that a person's relationship with God changes as they age, much like a marriage. God will forever be my spouse, even when He sends me the husband I have been praying is ready to handle me. This union I have with the Big Guy has evolved and developed a lot. As I have grown in stages in life, so has my relationship. I am, after all, all about living and keeping clear from the dirty word that is 'stagnancy'. I like to live and learn and grow, I like to think I have a zest for life, I like to think that is one of my most magical gifts from God.

So anyway, back to this relationship thing. I went to church last night and the theme was trust in God and it eventually led to the Beatitudes in the Gospel of Luke. Here I am sitting there listening to something I've been trying to pound into my brain for the past near ten months. I have to trust in God's plan. GOD'S plan is not my plan. I have to have faith that the direction my life is going is the course I am intended to go. Since you all know me, you know this is one of my bigger struggles in my relationship with God.

In the past few days I've been feeling more enlightened and it was a few weeks ago I actually felt happy to be here. Yeah, God, I said it. I'm enthused this is where I am. I've been praying to you long enough to uncover my eyes. Thanks for recognizing my patience is not the best. Annnyway, back to the story. For those of you who are wondering, I am doing well here in OK and am enjoying my time, even if that means I have to get up at 4:15 every morning and am perpetually tired. It's not so much the classes or lack of sleep I'm enjoying but more the relationships I'm forming. I feel more comfortable in my own skin, an ever evolving thing for me. It's the people I'm getting to know and the lessons about living on my own that I'm learning. Don't get me wrong, I call home most days of the week, but I'm not as sad about being away from my family now. I think we all realize I had to leave to find more of myself.


Every person develops as they age, it's something we have to do. You become smarter as you study, more comfortable with socializing as you make new friends and meet new people, and find a place in the world as you work to see the path you want to take. The path. The plan. It all involves trust and faith. Like I've said before it's the fog that I'm driving in, I'm just trusting that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be if I pay attention and do my best each step of the way. Giving up on figuring it out myself, that's exhausting, I'll let God do it, it's going to turn out his way anyway - making straight lines out of crooked paths.

So this relation evolution of me and the Big One: I started out super shy, I was that kid stuck to Mom's leg when she talked with people I didn't know. "Mara, say hi." Cricket, cricket. Silence. Yep, that was me. God loved me then and I'm hoping He's still happy with how I'm turning out now. He's blessed me ridiculously well and I lead a charmed life. Have you seen my family? They're awesome, of course I'm ridiculously blessed. I had started out more comfortable once I hit eighth grade I guess, but I was on top of the totem pole. My perspective quickly changed as I started out in high school. And yeah, freshman year was really rough, and while I'm not the type to go depressed [I prefer to remain enthusiastic about life, it's more fulfilling] I went through a good portion of it unhappy with how I was developing and fitting myself in. My relationship with God was not as strong then as it is now, I didn't think to rely on Him or be a 'burden', I just thought I had to do right by Him.

Sophomore year I got up the guts to start talking a little more I think, or maybe it was just that my soon-to-be-best friend felt compelled to start hanging out with me. She was 'love in action' for me, God was working through her to send me a message. Of course, I don't see that until its hindsight, but I do see it.

Along with her I had my staple friend, the constant that had known me since I was three. My oldest friend was happy to let me tag along with her and I'm so thankful that I still keep in touch with her and enjoy her company to this day. I may not have survived freshman year without her help.

Not to discount my favorite cousin in the whole wide world, I was able to have her as my sounding board and she still is. We were similar in our situations, in what we were going through in school, and we'd survived the terribly awkward stages of our weird years together. [Laugh] Look at us now, still awkward, but more comfortable.

God was working through those friends, through my family, He was supporting me whether I recognized it or not. There will never be enough prayers of thanks to show my gratitude, I'm just trying to live it and prove it.

College was quite the experience. My relationship strengthened and increased tenfold, no, probably more. It was in college that I chose my religion. I had been raised to believe in the teachings I had all through grade school and high school, attended church with my parents every weekend. But college, going to church was my choice, and there really was no choosing, I was always there. I realized more in college than my years at private school [my solid foundation] why I chose to be a Christian. I actively pursued my relationship with God, not that I didn't have my moments where I went to church but wasn't 'there'. Again, the relationship develops and changes and evolves, just like a marriage.

Now that I've moved to my next step and just plain moved I'm seeing much more clearly that these plans I have for myself are dwarfed by the amazing plans that have been laid out for me.

You see, by the end of college, as I was fervently awaiting my results for the Spring internship match, I had mapped out where my life was going to go. In my eyes, I'd found my husband, my career, my place of employment. I'd figured out all the details on my future children, how I wanted my house to be decorated, there wasn't much I hadn't thought about [I'm introverted but my no means is being alone an issue, there are just SO many things to figure out]. I'm a list person, my head's in the clouds, I'm dreaming about the future...but I savor the here and now [lessons I've learned from my parents and grandparents, I was never one to rush off trying to be older than I was].

And God said, "Let Mara learn My plans are way better than her's" Funny Big Guy, really funny:
No internship. No boyfriend. Couldn't even get the job back at the hospital. I resorted to catering weddings, which is not all that great after you break up with someone you love. I felt lost. All the plans I had made were gone. Plans, what plans? I couldn't plan ahead. I was just treading water to keep afloat. Looking back now, I know I needed to surrender. I needed to let God take over. And so, I cried. I cried a lot. And I swam and did my yoga. I made my smoothies. I laid around. I grasped how beautiful life in what seems like disaster can be. I was home. Time passed and I bounced back, but smarter.

I applied all over the country to DI programs. I applied and I didn't make plans. I had hoped, but even when I started letting my mind wander it never got too far. I couldn't see the future without knowing the outcome of the internship. So while I waited I tried out for a play. Proof that God loves me: the people involved in the show, all the student actors, welcomed me in for exactly who I was, the goofy girl that had nothing to do with the college and wasn't even a theater student. I had so much fun doing that play and I'm so thankful for the friends I made. In fact, I want to do more, I will try out for more after this crazy year. But I'm not opposed to whatever God brings my way, He knows I can be resistant and persistent but I'm a work in progress. Nevertheless, acting is fantastic, you get to be anyone, this creative outlet.

The news - I'm moving to Oklahoma, I'm. moving. to. OKLAHOMA? Everything cool up there God? Are you sure about OK? He was. Dad believed it. Mom and I knew it was bittersweet. Well, Dad knew it, but Mom showed it. And so the purchases, planning, and packing commenced. Kind of. Mom and Dad got me set up with dishes and a vacuum, and eight million other things while I worked on finding an apartment and making my lists on things I had to do before I had to leave that next month. The packing didn't really get going until I was forced. Much like right before college, the dining room was crowded with my things, and I stared at them as if to burn a hole in them. If I didn't do it the day wouldn't arrive when I'd have to leave. SHUT DOWN MODE. Obviously, I eventually packed with Mom's help.

I'm still lost, but I'm putting a death grip on God's hand. If You dare let go I'm might go under again, I need You to lead the way. And so I pray, I pray a lot. I feel like I should pray more and more. But I love my new church and my fellow interns. The people at the hospital are all SO nice, it's a wonderful fit for me. I'm back in my school groove, although doing homework is not really my thing yet, getting there. And I'm making short term plans. I'm trying to see and do as much as I can while I'm here. I'm making the most of the opportunity God helped push me into. I think He knows I need some coercing when it comes to big life changes. He knows and He's leading the way.

So now, I'm happy being single. I'm happy to be in Oklahoma even if I'm broke. I'm happy I got in to this internship with the masters. I'm happy I'm still keeping in touch with my high school and college friends and making new ones here. I'm happy and I'm not planning. My head's still in the clouds, don't get me wrong, but I'm trusting that God's taking me where I'm supposed to end up. And I'm constantly praying He uncovers my eyes to the next step before I start planning too far in advance. My eager-beaver syndrome had to get pulled back, "whoah, Mara, there's more for you to see and do than settling down just yet." And I've come to terms with that and I'm cool with it. Still scared but ready and working on trusting God, throw up my hands and just say, lead the way. I'm letting Him take control and working on the relationship I have with Him, the ever evolving and growing relationship.

Long story short, don't worry about me. Even though I'm scared about the unknown ahead, God's got me covered. I'm happy being here and I miss you all terribly.

SYLYB

Monday, February 8, 2010

So Far Away

Suddenly, I feel very far away from home.

I live in Oklahoma, no where near where my family resides. Nowhere near Gramma and Grampa's 60th Anniversary Party which I am sorry to be missing. Nowhere near my little brother who decided he's going to Ohio State for school [and failed to call and tell me the news]. Nowhere near my pain in the ass dog that also happens to make me smile every time I think about her.

I live in Oklahoma and I am far from home, but I am blazing the path to the future I want for myself. Sometimes it's just hard to let go of the things that helped put you here [not that I will ever let go of my family....EVER] but this is kind of metaphorical here too.

In other news, one of the ladies at work gave me a Holly Hobby apron she had when she was a sixth grade because she didn't want it anymore and because she knows I wear aprons when I cook and do dishes. Yeah, I'm that girl. It's like I'm preparing to be the best housewife ever. Ha, yeah, a long way off from being a wife. I'm very happy where I am in life in that department. So much to do before I share my everything with someone for the rest of my life. Let's not take this lightly.

SYLYB.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Moving Right Along

I am supremely happy to announce that this week has gone by faster than the last. Last week in turn went faster than the one before. Now, I'm not a fan of aging quickly or losing sight of the little things in life, however, I am always happy to see 50.5 hours of work fly by so I can enjoy the precious hours of the weekend.

I had uploaded a video or me talking last week but unfortunately I think youtube may have lost it. Or perhaps it didn't upload right. Either way, I did not get anything up. Because of the ice storm last week I had to make up the 8.5 hours I missed on Friday during this past week, ergo the 50.5 hours I worked. Luckily on Friday I got to sleep in until 6 because I didn't have to be at work until 7. Yes, I did say sleeping in.

All this week I worked with the cooks in the kitchen. I gained experience figuring out yields and what to do when there isn't enough of a product for the front and back line. Next week I'll work with the stock people and the lady that does budgeting and the like. That will be my last week of working in the kitchen before I take on supervisor status. Thankfully, I'll have enough time to work on my in-depth study, major project, and finish up my in-service I'm preparing for the employees. Thank goodness I did all the data entry and tray checks this last week [not that it means anything to you]. Real world people don't even work this hard, this is intense! At least the hospital runs like a well oiled machine.

Last night I was able to go with the group of new interns [minus 2] to a piano bar in downtown OKC. As we were walking there we saw a band from outside some windows and everyone watching. Looking in at our fishbowl I started dancing behind the window, but oh wait, that's where we were going in. No worries, most everyone had been drinking anyway. The 'dueling pianos' were fantastic to listen to, a bit loud, but I have no trouble singing loudly. I wonder why my voice is so masculine sounding today. Hmmm...

In other news on a night I did not want to go to bed before 9 I decided to plan the mother of all road trips. I mean mother, if I get some other interns to go with me we may have to stop for an oil change at some point. Here's what I put on my itinerary, bit lofty, but if I don't get lofty it may not happen. Of course, if I don't have grad loans to use as my cash this may fall dead fast.
Trip of the Southwest:
OKC, OK
Amarillo, TX
Albuquerque, NM
Flagstaff, AZ
Phoenix, AZ
Los Angeles, CA
Yosemite, CA
Las Vegas, NV
Grand Canyon, AZ
Santa Fe, NM
OKC, OK
Total Time: 2 Days 11 Hours: 3,416 miles
Still working on when we'd go, obviously after May classes end and before summer session starts. I also figured if four of us go in a car it'll cost about $200 on gas per person. Wonder if any trains could take us for cheaper. We're considering using sleeping bags and tents. No, seriously....I want to do this trip. I set my mind to it, something WILL happen [unfortunately maybe not quite as lofty, this is after all driving across half the country and back, not to mention the time it would take]. We may have some people that provide us shelter along the way in Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. Living off the hospitality of others, we poor grad students need all the assistance we can.

More later....
SYLYB

Woot woot. Celebrate Nicholas' getting in!!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Snow Storm

Wednesday it was 67 out, all that has changed. The wind did its work. It blew and brought in storms from the southwest. It is 20 something out. Yesterday I got out of work about ten minutes early. These precious minutes were spent using my ice scraper as a pickaxe to break the thick layer of freezing rain off my windshield. Thankfully, I had a warm coat, hat, scarf, and gloves on to do the job as speedily as I could. Not so thankfully, I broke my poor scraper. Off I went on new tires [thanks Mom and Dad] down the highway home.

My two night classes were cancelled due to inclement weather and I was thankful. After I got home I had no desire to leave my apartment. The sleet and freezing rain did not let up until late that evening. When I woke up to go in to work today I stepped outside on a layer of sleet that looked like a thick blanket of snow. Upon inspecting the surroundings, keeping in mind the coming snow later in the morning, and noticing that my car was frozen shut [no, seriously, I tried to open it and still cannot], I called in to tell them I would be staying home from work. Back to bed I went and I didn't wake up until noon. Had I woken up earlier I may have considered braving the elements to work a half day. But my biological clock though forget that, you need to get better!

I spent the rest of the day lounging around on every piece of furniture in my apartment, sipping tea, watching Food Network and the Disney Channel, and baking cookies. I should have not baked those cookies, mostly because I had to use margarine [but partly because all weekend I'll have no one to share them with, no little brother to eat three fresh out of the oven]. Let's be honest, in baking there is NO exception to butter. Oh well, now I'm going to take a bath and climb into my warm bed because it hasn't even been 12 hours since we were together and we're good friends.

MJ- I dedicate these cookies to you, because I love you and because you are my buddy.