Social Media Disaster

Social media is managing to ruin the happiness of innocent people. It's managing to make people feel more in the know, and yet somehow, less connected to those around them. It's showing the highlight reel that people want others to see while everyone else sits at home and focusing on their behind the scenes muck - the laundry that needs done, the awful day at work, the bills that need paid, the vacations lusted after, and the free time no one can seem to find.

So the question is - How does everyone have a better life than me when I pull them up on social media? 

Answer: Because we only see the bits that they want to show. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to pull up FB to find so-and-so is arguing with their boyfriend again, what's-his-name was just laid off, or who's-she-what's-its is having the worst day ever because they're out of pumpkin soy latte's and she has a hole in her yoga pants. I WANT to see the good things that people want to share, but that doesn't mean I'm sitting at home reflecting on my oh-so-perfect life too. Because it's not. Because no one's life is perfect. Because social media creates unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic - as in NOT REAL.

So earlier this year I made a conscious effort to spend less time on facebook. I actually closed my account for several months. And guess what? I didn't miss it. I did eventually get back on so I could see pictures of my ever growing extended family and my friends' accomplishments. But I'm keeping in touch with the people I still want to keep in touch with by ACTUALLY talking to them, or texting them, or visiting them. It gets difficult as you get older and lives get more busy with that day to day grind we all deal with but it's worth it. Facebook is great to browse through pictures of loved ones, but it's not a place I want to live. I want to actually live outside the confines of a screen.

Take away message?

 Comparison is the thief of joy. Get out there and be joyful with the people you care about.

Setbacks

Setbacks are just that - setbacks. They are not roadblocks. The minute we start treating them as such is the minute we accept our first failure as the be all and end all.

Success requires effort and lots of trying. Sometimes you learn the 'Don'ts' before you find the 'Do's'. Actually, you're lucky if your first attempt succeeds.

What makes a person of character is to see the silver lining in circumstances - to put forth the hard work and come up with a win when at first all you see is failures.

And a few quotes that coincide nicely:
"God can move mountains, but He may hand you a shovel."

"Pray like everything depends on God, work like everything depends on you." -St Ignatius

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas Edison

Humble

Today I was reminded to be humble.
That there is always a silver lining.
That there is always someone that has it worse.
That my piddly little problems are just that - piddly and little.

Today I was reminded to not sweat the small stuff and that next year (insert here) will not matter.
That if I can shift my focus on others and ignore the "world revolves around me" attitude
That if I just breathe and thank God for my blessings
Then, and only then, will I feel better.

Life really is beautiful, even if it's ugly at times. We just need to stop overlooking the everyday miracles.

Guidelines to Teach My Future Children:

I read a blog post recently where this woman wrote a list of things she wants her daughter to learn, life rules/lessons of sorts. So I of course made my own. And I made a lot because I am not lacking when it comes to the written word.

Never stop learning-be it cooking, driving a stick shift, shingling a shed, or taking a class at the local university. Yearn to learn always.

Don't be stagnant, stagnancy is death and life is a journey.

Travel the world...and don't forget the Imodium.

Be brave and try new things. Have courage.

Save money for something worth it, including emergencies.

High quality [and generally higher priced] things last longer. Have fewer better quality things.

Stuff is filler - think of people. Save mementos but not everything. Things are for people -- stuff is for using, not the other way around.

Time is so precious. You cannot stockpile it. Use it wisely.

Find a hobby, something that is yours.

Hug the people you love, and tell them you love them every single day.

Ignore the insults of others and let your freak flag fly - march to your own drum, always. Don't be discouraged.

Keep it simple. It may not be easy, but it is drama free[ish]

Question your relationship with God, that will strengthen it; He can handle it. But never turn your back on Him or stop practicing your faith...and do right by him. He's got you covered for an eternity.

Do not judge others, everyone has their battles and no one is perfect.

Go to university - have fun, be safe, and get a good degree.

Find your passion, one that you can make a career.

Don't forget where you came from.

Aim for 8 fruits and vegetables a day. Eat clean 90% of the time and drink plenty of water.

Get shit done - don't procrastinate - Carpe Diem

Do the next [right] thing

Think of others' feelings when you open your mouth.

Honesty really is the best policy. Don't lie, it is unbecoming.

Stand up for yourself, for what you believe in.

A sweet attitude and a smile get you far and get what you want relatively painlessly.

Life is not fair, but it goes on. Suck it up, you don't have it nearly as bad as others.

Don't give your body freely. That should be saved for someone you love. Just wait until you're married, then I won't have to worry about you and you won't get your heart broken unnecessarily.

Say your prayers.

Read lots of great books. Find a soundtrack for your life.

When you aren't feeling well, try a long shower and an even longer nap.

Do not be afraid to fail, then get up again.

Guard your heart but do not guard your heart so much that you miss an opportunity to love.

Lose graciously, you cannot always win.

Shake hands and look people in the eye.

You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly.

You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you.

Take care of your body/health, it's the only one you've got and it has to last your whole life.

Surround yourself c good people, quality friends help form your opinions once you're an adult.

Stand up straight, walk with your head held high.

Gossiping never does anyone any good.

Trust your instincts.

Don't settle - there are enough mediocre things in this world. Your job, spouse, and life don't have to be.

Study, study, study.

Take responsibility for your actions and apologize when you're wrong.

Do not be afraid of emotions, you are human.

Each decision affects another.

Do not drink and drive. And do not do either excessively, walk...and watch other people make asses of themselves. Hangovers aren't worth it, and neither is your future.

If you're not comfortable talking about it, you shouldn't be doing it.

Never take yourself too seriously, you will not make out this life alive. Keep a sense of humor.

Humility

Faith keeps you grounded, hopeful, humble; it lays a solid foundation, keeps you focused on something bigger than yourself. Because we are but a small part of something infinitely greater than ourselves.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

Just look at the night sky, at all it's beauty. Think of your scale in reference to everything else. How small we are! We evolved as part of a plan - by no accident, mind you. We are here to make a difference, to make the world better. Each act puts into motion another - a ripple effect.

It's when we start looking at the world as something to serve us selfishly, as something that revolves around us that we get it all wrong. While we may only see things perfectly from our perspective, with only our experiences to guide us, we need to see that Christ resides in others just as He lives in each of us.

And that's something I continuously have to remind myself. Every. Single. Day. That's why I wear the Holy Spirit [in dove form] around my neck, as my reminder. How imperfect but beautiful we all are. 

"I'm a practicing Catholic because I haven't gotten it right yet." - Father Marv

sylyb

Discontent

So, it's been awhile....it's always been awhile.

I am a content person, but even me, the Positive Patrice that I am can get disgruntled. We all have our moments of weakness. That being said, my life is good. So good in fact that I should erase this post and entitle it gratitude - list off all the things that I have the privilege of being honored to have and take part in.  But I'll admit, that's not going to happen. Now I'm not on here to complain about my day. "OMG, Starbucks ran out of pumpkin spice and I had to take full fat milk. My thighs are gonna be huge." I'm here to complain about the current limbo status of my life - everyone goes through this, I just didn't think it would be limboing this long. 

You've heard me gripe before about the struggles of my near end and post college year where all my plans were scattered and my life appeared to be crumbling from the pavement. Yes, at that stage in my life, it did. It was THE. WORST. THING. EVER. To happen to anyone, in the history of forever (please say you caught the melodrama). Funny how hind sight is 20/20 and suddenly there's enough time between you and the event to forget how painful it had been to go through. We never stop having growing pains. It wasn't that these happened to me - its that they happened all....at....once. Kick me while I'm down please. But I did get through it on top and have some wonderful life lessons in my back pocket for later use. 

No, now I  talking about my current state - the obvious horrendous endeavors of a twenty something. These are exciting times that I know for a fact I will look back on with smiles - again grateful for the lessons learned and grateful to never go through them again.  

I've declared September 2013 Hell Month, I've also labelled it Get Shit Done month. Because if the month is going to be awful, you might as well use that frustration for something worth while/productive (you know, after I'm done griping blog style). 

Long story short - work is entirely too busy and we've had additional projects put on my plate. And with a coworker being gone 3 of the 4 weeks you can imagine how über excited I am to see September go away. Not to say this month is to be forgotten (I did do my first triathlon without any major snafus, which was entirely too much fun). What I'm saying is, I won't be sad to see September go. 

What with all these frustrations and my need to look past them to keep my sanity during the day, my mind has resorted to sending me very evident messages of my utter lack of self direction in the form of nightmares. As in - stuck in the open ocean surrounded by sharks and unable to swim, watching your town crumble and flood with no help of salvaging it, or resorting to living underground where bombs above can't hurt you. Yeah, maybe that's the plan. I'll call for a life hiatus - go underground for awhile - live the life of a recluse until I can safely say I've dealt with my concerns the healthy adult way (if that's what we're calling me these days) and moving on.

It's just a matter of all the what ifs in this limbo I'm living. But is that my new normal? Uncertain of the future in any aspect of my life. "When nothing is certain, everything is possible" and TERRIFYING I might add. Remember, I'm content. I need a good shove in the right direction to see that being in my safety zone is actually getting me nowhere. 

So on that fine note, I've purchased a personal trainer kit, been (kind of) on the lookout for new jobs and have informed myself that living life happens each day. And making the most of it means I'll be working towards something great but also living the content life. 

So if all this life frustration is good for something it's a fire under my behind. Because a woman on a mission - this woman (the one my mother calls a bulldog) can move some mountains (or at least a sizable mole hill).

What's that sound you say? Hang on, let me change into my cut off shirt and sweat shorts. That my friend, is the sound of Eye of the Tiger playing in the background. Getting me pumped to get shit done.

As always, SYLYB 

Peruvian Holiday -Setting Off

Peru April 30 - May 12

"Miss, would you like a drink?"
I turned my face from the window and say "water" through the dry air.

There is a fine line between getting enough water and it being a nuisance for travel. So I begrudgingly requested a drink. I didn't want a headache and I know the importance in keeping your wits about you- don't get dehydrated. I could feel the need for a bathroom already, but on a plane as small as that one I was going to hold it, pretty sure my kidneys and bladder weren't happy but I'm not overly enthused with airplane bathrooms. Not that I'm a germaphobe, its just inconvenient. 

She handed me the little plastic cup. "Thank you."

I gulped the water down quickly and turned back to face the window. Lost in thought about the next two weeks - what they would bring, what we would learn, what we'd take back. Just the first leg of the journey, still several more hours to go - more time to get lost in thought, or a book. I would be landing in Miami around the same time as my travel companion Jessica.

Jessica, is what I lovingly consider my travel mate. We have now traveled out of the country twice and have driven and flown from one coast to the other. Even though I am an introvert, I never tire of her on trips as we both manage alone time [together] well. We work well as a duo/tag team and have a lot in common...and she puts up with me, even when I ask her to take very specific pictures or make her listen to my ramblings. At this point, it has been months since I have seen her and I feel giddy. Giddy because she has that energy and personality - she sucks you in and you smile. Because she's go-with-the-flow, sometimes ridiculous, and almost always upbeat [excluding times when she is hangry or her patience runs dry. Any who would be upbeat then anyway?]. Jessica is really one of a kind, the kind of person you wish you knew if you didn't. I love her and know she was placed in my life at just the right time, a friend I needed to help develop as a person during my formative year in Oklahoma for graduate school and beyond...and now, moving on from the sentimental.

Our remaining flights went without a hitch, I slept through the 6 hour flight like a champ. That was the intent in working a full day and catching a red eye [apart from it being cheaper and my strict budget].

We arrived in Cusco, Peru and headed out into the open autumn air awaiting our ride to the company we used and then to our hotel. We waited. And waited for another 40 minutes. Now, having traveled out of the country enough I know punctuality and schedules are not quite as tight as those in the US. So when we waited a half hour we weren't surprised, but when we became the only people sitting outside and a group of restless taxi drivers started circling we knew we'd been forgotten. I had written down their phone numbers just in case and this was one of those cases where I'm especially glad Jessica and I are list makers and prepared travelers.

Within 10 minutes of our phone call we had a driver meet us and take us to the company we booked with, Wayki Trek. The great thing about first leaving an airport in a foreign country is the beauty in it. Everything is new. You work so hard to absorb everything you feel like a deer in the headlights - wide eyes and speechless. It's like a first impression of the country. You are immediately immersed in the world you've dropped yourself in. Suddenly your senses are in overdrive - what you see, the sounds, the smells, how things feel and eventually how things taste. From what I could see, Peru did not disappoint on it's first impression. It was old, had that old worn feeling. It was busy and the streets on that end of town weren't the cleanest but the colors of buildings were bright and the Andes remained ever present in the background. The closer in to town we got the cleaner it looked and the more pieces of history we could see - the parts of Incan culture that remained and those that had been  blended with Spanish. The streets were filled with vehicles weaving in and out, the sidewalks bustling with people selling their wares or walking to work. I was ready.

After arrival we had a few scheduling glitches - a misunderstanding on our part, and an itinerary mistake on theirs. Things did not start smoothly, but we didn't expect perfection. We had, in fact, booked our entire trip via email with an organization whose first language is not English. You can't expect perfection. A few mistakes are to be expected, and I'm thrilled we had so few. So we spent a good chunk of time that morning remedying the issues. By the time we were taken to our hostel I was ready to take a shower and a eat a light meal...but check in time wasn't until later so we stored our bags and headed into town...

The first time I traveled out of the States I was in high school and was blown away. I blame my mother for infecting me with the Wanderlust Bug, and my older brother for inspiring me. He  demonstrated the benefit of, not being fearless but, courageous to travel/live abroad. Mom was my companion to Italy and then to Ireland a year later. Those first two experiences were wonderful, life-changing times. For those of you who have stamps in your passport you know what this means - it isn't just about a stamp in your passport.

Traveling isn't just some expensive excursion. It is a learning experience from the minute to set foot on foreign soil until the minute you arrive home. You can't get the full effect from a blog or some pictures. There is so much more to it. It is knowledge you cannot learn from a book, and I love learning. I will work my longest, hardest, and live frugally to travel as much as I can: to never take for granted how good I have it, to see how fortunate I am, to view the world from a different perspective, if even just for a little while, to eat/sleep/drink/breathe a different culture - to immerse yourself in it. Traveling is more than a scrapbook or a souvenir. It is an experience that worms it's way down to your being and settles in your soul, shaking you and leaves you unsettled...always wanting more.

Doesn't that sound romantic? Don't get me wrong, there are the not so glamorous portions of traveling. This trip was no exception - several days without showers, the interesting toileting arrangements, the altitude sickness, adjustments to different food/drink, and blunders a foreigner [you] will make in another territory [especially if their native language is anything but yours]. The point is not that these things happen, but that you learn from them, you grow, and you are not hindered by the fear to keep on learning and growing - to keep traveling.

You only have one life to live. Soak it up. Sip it down, and keep your appetite for life [and traveling] hearty. Part 2 coming soon.

sylyb

DAN

No excuses, it's been awhile....moving on...

I find that I am my own self-help book. I am constantly working toward bettering myself. As we all know, change does not necessarily equate to progress and what I'm going for is strict progress. For a positive life journey there is something very important that I am not always the greatest at: being productive and proactive. I am not always the most decisive [I already know this...so does everyone else], I am very indecisive about things that I don't care about....and that means I go with the flow. When it comes to things that matter I am as stubborn as a mule and my mind cannot be changed. That being said I have implemented a few key words/phrases into my continuously evolving "Mantra"

1. Do the next thing.
2. Surrender [as in to God's plan].
3. Decisive Action Now [DAN].

So, I got home after work, had a snack, started laundry, and am preparing to work out. Productivity at it's best.

So I'm trying to get myself in better shape so that I can climb a mountain and not be super sore. Got my measurements, took my "before" pictures and I am ready. More later....Operation Inca in progress.

Patience in the Plan

Soakin' Up the Sun

Cousins

The problem with patience is that you need it when you have none, and it seems when you have plenty, you are never in need of it. Of course, knowing that time is relative, Einstein's theory, etc etc explains all that.

I have been trying to succumb to the fact that this place I am in currently is a necessary waiting period for the next step. Everything in due time, all the appropriateness of an unfolding rosebud in the morning sun. Steps of course, are scary, changes are challenging, and new beginnings are never as easy as endings, which are all too often bittersweet.

LP & Me

I'm not trying to be extremely picky, but I'm not settling for work simply to change my pace or my geography. Change isn't always progress after all. But what I do know, is that I am meant for more than these four walls, more than this town, more than what currently 'is.'

Patience self, and in the meantime, just do the next thing. Take the next step and trust that the map is unfolding as the journey continues on.

Mustache you a question...

I can't be the only one dealing with this, in fact, I know I am not from the several conversations I have sitting on the phone agonizing over the frustrations of our young lives. We've all taken different paths, and yet, we're all in similar boats. We've all hit different stages with different challenges. I have the friends without significant others to married moms, friends between jobs, in jobs they love or hate, friends in house, apartments, living with their parents. I am in extremely good company it would seem. It is the age of uncertainty, the age where when nothing is certain everything is possible....and scary, and awesome. Just breathe, just wait, enjoy the ride.

In other news, I have been busy with work [full time, with benefits].
* I have paid off my grad loans [in exactly one year].
* I went to SOUTHERN Florida for family vacation.
* I went to the OSU opening game.
* I've done some serious job hunting.

Pre-Game

Until next time...sylyb

Chicago Half

Hannah and I had a conversation about dating over the weekend. Funny how we never run out of things to talk about after all these years. Anyway, on to the point of this post.

What is the deal with the stigma surrounding 'dating around.' I don't mean hooking up, I literally mean dating around. I mean getting to know members of the opposite sex. I mean taking a test drive on compatibility, outside of the distractions of other people, where harmless flirting is encouraged and witty conversation abounds. Without knowing all sorts of different people, you wind up choosing someone you click with well enough. But I don't just want someone I tolerate well enough. And maybe that's the romantic in me. Maybe I like the idea of knowing all different types of people so I know what's truly the best match for me. I don't want to be that divorce statistic. And I deserve to take my time.

Finding a mate is on my to-do list, but not just yet. Times have changed and what was once conventional timing to meet and marry is now far too young. I didn't end up with my high school or college boyfriend. But I'm also not the same person I was in high school or college. It's really impressive to see people last when those years are such huge ones in finding yourself. I congratulate them, but I'm not one of them. I'll likely not make it to 60+ years like my grandparents because I didn't get married at 20. I have so many adventures to have as "just Mara" before settling in the suburbs with my mortgage and mom-van [although, I could do without the mom-van entirely].

Looking especially B.A with Nicholas & Nathan

Dear future husband, I'm really excited to meet you, but right now my life is very out of order. Let me tie up a few loose ends first...and get the hell out of Springfield.

In other news:

Had a great time watching/supporting Hannah for her half marathon in Chicago. Got too spend some times with my older brothers and made a few new friends. All in all it was such a good weekend I slept for 11 hours after I got home. And we KNOW I need my sleep.

Ate so many kcals this weekend I haven't been hungry all day and I exercised already [my mitochondria were wondering what was going on without much movement over the weekend. Is that too nerdy to say?].

My new Chicago family

Things I've Learned About Myself

It takes a long time to develop who you are as a person [it is, after all, an always evolving process]. Sometimes it is an even longer time to be able to look at yourself and see yourself from an objective eye. It takes moments of hardship, times of great change, and difficult decisions to see the stuff that you're made of.

Was it "The Girl Next Door" that said, is the juice worth the squeeze? Well, you do need to know what you're working with, what you've got to offer, to know where you need to improve and how you can make yourself better on this life journey.

There are things that I can honestly say I would never have guessed about myself if the problems that arose on my life journey did not present themselves. Yes I would be a little less worn, but as the saying goes, easy seas do no make a tough sailor....or something along those lines.

1. I am strong & independent. Yes, I do rely heavily on my family but I know that if I had to move to say, Oklahoma, for a year I could without a doubt not only survive but flourish. Oh, wait! I've already done that.

2A. It takes me a long time to fall in love/trust/accept someone without reservation. I can't say that it's the past relationships that I've been involved in...I can't actually pinpoint it. What I do know is that when you're in, you're a lifer, when I'm only lukewarm, it might just stay that way.
2B. Do not cross the people I consider to be essential to me [my lifers], because although I love only a few without reservation, I love them with a passion you cannot match. It's very much a, "Don't tell me a momma joke," because you will go down. 

3. I truly believe time heals most wounds. People die and their places they've kept in your heart can't be filled by some other hobby or person, they're not supposed to be; individuals are unique and the role they play in your life is as such. That being said, everyone can move on. You have the courage, the gumption, and the willpower to say, "Yes, that hurt, but it can only keep me down for so long."

4. Sadness really does make happiness all the more worthwhile. I've had some low moments in my life, but if I hadn't dedicated time to allowing myself to be sad/dejected/hurt/betrayed I would not have come out stronger, I would not have found a more fulfilling happiness.

5. I am not, nor will I ever be a control freak. I don't want control. Why do you think I pray so hard to God for guidance? He's got the paperwork in order, He already paid for the warranty on my soul, on His plan for me. Why go jumbling the plans? Hindsight is 20/20 I guess and I don't have the best vision.

6. I do everything on my own time, at my own pace, in my own way. And if you push it too hard when I'm not ready I will resist that much more. This counts from the very trivial to my very essence. eg. I hated turtlenecks [much to my mother's chagrin] until I didn't, and I didn't wear turtlenecks until the minute I started liking them.

7. It doesn't matter how often I have to get up early in the morning I will NEVER be a morning person and I will not resort to caffeine. We don't need to see my hyper. Even tempered Mara is so much better [and energetic enough].

8. I am much better with the written word than face to face, even more eloquent. I think the gift of gab went to my fingers twice when I kissed the Blarney stone.

9.  I march to my own drum [for sure] and I am un-apologetically myself. My mother calls me a free spirit, sounds pretty good to me. I play like a 5 year old, look like a 17 year old, and bake like an 85 year old. I wear aprons when I cook, avoid combing my hair, and live with my head in the clouds.

10. I love sweating a lot when I exercise. It feels like I've accomplished that much more and helps me to really earn the shower. Using these muscles, maintaining this body so it can keep me running. Don't want to abuse my only vehicle in life.

Whoah Baby

Celebrating Father's Day with Dad Bro No1&3 and nephew

For shame!

I got on and realized it has been absolute AGES since I posted anything.

You know the monotony of work, and I guess sometimes it's easier to NOT post about something boring than to try and find the value of yet another beautiful day and discuss it here.

So the low down on what I've been doing these past several months, and I don't think they're going to be in any particular order:

Went to/was in Britt's wedding in the DC area, very lovely weekend and I was so happy to get to spend some quality time with her. It's always hard to arrange time to talk and near impossible to visit so this was just a fantastic Memorial Day weekend wedding celebration. Congratulations Brittany and Rob :)

Obsessively watching Olympic Trials because I love all things Olympics and America, duh [I'm pretty sure I've mentioned how much I love Independence Day]! I won't pretend, swimming is my favorite thing to watch, probably because I really enjoy swimming....it's all we'll have on the TV for those weeks in July/August.

Went to the shooting range with Dad and Nathan and shot an actual gun [not an air rifle, not a bb gun, a real life GUN]...had one of those girly moments where I was so proud of myself having shot with so much power in my hands that I swung around and smiled at Nathan. The gun was facing down, but it was hot. Thank goodness I didn't shoot my someone's foot! What a ditz! I did get a bulls-eye with my first magazine as well. Pretty pleased!

Continuing my quest for a healthy physique and decreased body fat percentage. I've started to really notice the difference in my arms and calf muscles, if I keep it up I may be too hot to handle [HA!] when we go to Florida for vacation.

Still doing my Spanish/Rosetta Stone, gotta say it's hard to balance with everything else. If I'm going to have a life, help fix dinner, and exercise Spanish can sometimes take the back burner....slowly working on it. Spain is still the ultimate goal.

Had a wicked storm this weekend and our neighbor's tree fell, among several other branches and power outages. Thank you Jesus we didn't have any issues. Crazy wind!!!

Hopefully going to get switched over to full time at the hospital, although I will admit, the longer they put it off the more irritated with them I get. I've been there 16 months working full time without benefits, isn't that reason enough to hire me on? I'm sorry, but sometimes all I can think is "B*** S***" I'm being used as cheap labor because they can and I haven't left yet.

So figuring out my next life step is not coming so easy. I've been pretty comfortable in my own happy little safe zone, but I know if I want to grow more as a person I'm going to have to really step it up and do something, just jump out of the comfort zone and dive in. I had read a quote somewhere that said "When nothing is sure, everything is possible" and I've decided I really like that positive spin on things. Just got to get the gumption to be like Nike and just do it.

Have been loving the hot hot hot temperatures, probably makes me sound crazy but whatever, I'm pretty sure I was made to love in warmer conditions. Get cold far too easily to like the winter weather months, although snuggling up with blankets and sweatshirts is nice I'd much rather live in a bathing suit or sun dress.

In other news? No, that's just going to be it.

Hope you all have a good one. Celebrate July 4th right with family, friends, good food and lots of pyrotechnics!

Daughters and Sons

Source: Uploaded by user via Mara on Pinterest

Kony 2012

Make him famous, get the word out. Make your voice heard. Any army of small voices is an army that makes a difference.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/donate

Perspective

I don't enjoy getting up in the morning. I don't drink coffee and I'm not much of a morning person, but I am required to show up to work ready to start my day at 7 a.m. Early, I know...trust me, ha. So to save time and spare my skin during these winter months I'll occasionally just wash my hair in the tub so I don't have to get up quite as early [or that's what I've resorted to BECAUSE I don't get up as early].

Anyway, there I was earlier this week washing my hair as usual when I started looking around the bathroom behind me, with the blood rushing to my head as it hung soapy upside down. The bathroom looked different. Yes, it was exactly the same, everything was where it normally sat, but it was also different.

And that's the thing about life. It's remarkable really. If you only change your perspective on it, what once looked "blah", now looks a little different. I started out literal, but it brought me to the conclusion that if you want to be happy, truly happy and you're in a situation that has been "blah" for what seems like ages, maybe what you should be changing is not the situation but your view of it. And in flopping your view of the situation you will in turn alter the situation itself.

Strong words for something as simple as a quick hair scrub in the tub, but just a thought for your Saturday.

sylyb.

Not Exotic

Sometimes I wish I looked more exotic. You know, dark and mysterious. Grass is always greener right? I'm as far from exotic looking as you can get. German+Irish=Me

Yeah, I look as far from exotic as you can get. So much so that I get the old "I think I know you...I recognize you...we've met before" line by a random smattering of people. And no, not in the "you come here often" sense.  But maybe that means I look comforting, maybe that means I look like someone you'd like to become friends with, who knows? I'll take that as my consolation prize. Besides, I really really love my blue eyes.

Dirty dishwater blond hair, blue eyes, square face. Average height, average build. But I am me. I have my paternal grandmother's jaw, my maternal grandfather's eyes. I am the product of two people, a culmination of their personalities...with several additions of my own.

So I don't look exotic, but I've got a lot going for me...which is nice ;)

You Never Fall In Love the Same Way Twice

I love "love" and I'm a hopeless romantic. Jane Austen. Poetry. Grand gestures, quiet moments. I want it all. I want the passion, a playmate/partner in crime, a friend for life. I could go on and on...So in honor of the ever approaching St. Valentine's Day:

I read somewhere that you can never love the same way twice. These are very heavy words to process. You could take it that
1. A great love you had, one that you look back on and say to yourself "Man, if only I could have that again..." Or
2. A love you're happy to leave in the deep recesses of your memory banks "Thank goodness I learned my lessons from that and it is behind me."

The way I see it, having not been in a relationship for some time [and I'm content with that, I've got a lot of me to figure out still without attaching a "plus one" to the mix just yet] love shouldn't be the same way twice. You're not the same person with every single one of your friends, there's a different dynamic with your different relationships. Why should something as important as love be any different? I think love is not supposed to be the same. Love is too extensive, cannot be contained, and should not be attempted to be put on repeat. Don't read over the previous chapter and don't try and skip ahead. Begin the next chapter instead and read it page by page. This is life, and love is what makes it bearable.

You can wish all you want for what you had, or the what-ifs, or the bits of how things were before, but that's looking behind you for something that is yet to be discovered. Trust that the love you will have will be better than the loves you've experienced so far. Trust.

Trust, this word keeps ringing out clear to me in my prayers. Like a good wine, [or cheese or any other food metaphor you like with aging] or the scar on my foot from my trip to Mexico...they all require lots of time to be made into their best form, perfect. Good things worth waiting for are full bodied, and matured to perfection for that moment where it's all supposed to culminate, when the scar is so faded you forget you even were hurt in the first place.

And that's love, you're swimming in it and once overcome you forget about how painful it may have been to lose a love before. You trust that this love will be worth it all. And it will, in time...at just the right moment.

Have a very LOVEly Valentine's Day, all! And power to the people without a loved one this year, because you're passively preparing for the right moment when he or she will make your love story complete.

nos vemos. te quiero. adios

Swaying in the Dark

There's something really satisfying about turning on soft music in the dark and swaying to the beat...or putting on headphones on a long car ride in the late hours of the day and just closing your eyes, and disappearing [obviously, not as the driver].

You know the feeling, everything in the day - good, bad, or otherwise, just melts away and you're lost in the music. You're lost in the mood it evokes, and for that short while you forget everything around you.

I find that Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon is an excellent album to get lost in, but I'm also fond of the somewhat moody Amos Lee, Ray Lamontagne, and Griffin House.

I think it's the perfect simplicity of the words in combination with the intensity in the way it's sung: heartwrenching, heartbreaking, honest. I don't know, but I like it....especially after a rather stressful day.

The problem with technology comes when it stops working. It's hard to do your job when you rely so heavily on something that decided to just quit working today. Yep, our charting system on the computers were down today. And to top it off, they rearranged the way in which we chart our evaluations and plans. I realize this means almost nothing to those of you who don't know what I have to do during the day, but trust me, it's a big old pain in the butt. So instead of having a nice low key Friday [which I tried to ensure yesterday but working a little longer and a little harder] I ended up not being able to look up or chart on any of my patients until two hours before I was supposed to leave.

Needless to say, I'm sitting in the dark listening to above mentioned men...just letting the 40+ hour work week drift off with the setting sun.

Happy Friday all, next week is already February!!! Time flies.

Una Tienda de Campana Pequena

I wish I could learn a new language via osmosis....or hear it in my sleep and wake up more fluent. I realize it's been less than a month but I'm worried I'm not going to remember what I've already learned. I fear that I'm going to wake up more stupid. If only I had learned earlier, or was bilingual to start...life would have been so much easier! And to top it all of, I feel like a weather reporter...you know you're on site of a tropical storm and there is the split screen of the people in the studio too. It always takes the reporter a solid few seconds to respond because there's lag time.........oh yeah, there's lag time all right, my neurons are firing away, a little sluggish, but firing, HA!

Giddy

I know, I know. You've heard me talk about it the last few posts, but I'm still going strong. Yay me!

I've come to several conclusions to change my life starting now. I don't know what exactly it was that sparked me to take a stand for myself and realize my journey with God starts with me. It's not in the search to help someone else [although, that too comes into play]. It starts with getting me in the right place. It starts with getting myself in neutral, in putting myself in a place where I am receptive to what He has to say and be willing to say 'yes' to that [listening skills will have to be put into play here]. And I've got a long way to go yet [yes, I realize that too]. But I have to tell you...last night I was giddy. Smiling like a school girl with big dreams giddy. Giddy with the promise of that terrifyingly wonderful word that is possibility, possibility for tomorrow and the day after that. To prepare myself I'm being proactive today, the only real and tangible piece of time I can count on.

Giddy about what you ask? I spent four hours studying my Spanish. Si, amigos. I want to become fluent in the language. Not just so I can travel, not just so I can open up doors in my career, but to better myself, to make myself a more well rounded individual. And to think, all I needed was a friend to pose the innocent question "If you had the opportunity to learn it, why didn't you?" Because I did have the means and the time to do it and instead I sat at home like a lazy American...Ouch, sometimes the truth is bitter coming out. But, at least I have no pride. And at least I'm doing something about it now. I can't fix not doing it two and a half years ago but I won't regret having started this year.

Secondly, I want to get my body to the place I want it to be [yep, I took my anthropometric measurements on January 2nd]. Not so I can have an enviable body but so I feel confident in myself, and more importantly so I can show God through action I am grateful for the gift of movement and life. Not all people are so fortunate, and some of life's greatest pleasures require only our bodies, running through grass, snow angels in the winter, hide and seek with your nephew, swimming under a waterfall by the side of the road. You get the picture. My body is not simply a vessel to house my soul and the Holy Spirit. It was created by God in His image and likeness, or so Genesis tells us at least. So I vow to walk a little taller and move a little more [even though it is killing my calf muscles right now, I know they'll be happy I set them to work...eventually].

But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him...Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. 
     -1 Corinthians 17, 19-20 NAB

I also know that to better myself I need to financially be stable. Hello IRA, monthly savings, and loan pay offs. Oh, and thanks Mom and Dad for letting me live at home while I get my stuff together [that helps A LOT].

So, yeah, big plans, exciting plans. Yes, life altering scary plans. But if I don't let go of what is stagnant, I cannot proceed with the journey ahead of me. And thank God I've come to this realization at my age, rather than being wistful and in the midst of a midlife crisis.

I am content knowing I am doing something because the little things add up. And because they add up in a big way.

Okay, I promise I will try not to continue gushing over my New Year's Resolution excitement. But I will keep you apprised of the situation. Fair enough?

Diez mil besos. sylyb.