I've come to several conclusions to change my life starting now. I don't know what exactly it was that sparked me to take a stand for myself and realize my journey with God starts with me. It's not in the search to help someone else [although, that too comes into play]. It starts with getting me in the right place. It starts with getting myself in neutral, in putting myself in a place where I am receptive to what He has to say and be willing to say 'yes' to that [listening skills will have to be put into play here]. And I've got a long way to go yet [yes, I realize that too]. But I have to tell you...last night I was giddy. Smiling like a school girl with big dreams giddy. Giddy with the promise of that terrifyingly wonderful word that is possibility, possibility for tomorrow and the day after that. To prepare myself I'm being proactive today, the only real and tangible piece of time I can count on.
Giddy about what you ask? I spent four hours studying my Spanish. Si, amigos. I want to become fluent in the language. Not just so I can travel, not just so I can open up doors in my career, but to better myself, to make myself a more well rounded individual. And to think, all I needed was a friend to pose the innocent question "If you had the opportunity to learn it, why didn't you?" Because I did have the means and the time to do it and instead I sat at home like a lazy American...Ouch, sometimes the truth is bitter coming out. But, at least I have no pride. And at least I'm doing something about it now. I can't fix not doing it two and a half years ago but I won't regret having started this year.
Secondly, I want to get my body to the place I want it to be [yep, I took my anthropometric measurements on January 2nd]. Not so I can have an enviable body but so I feel confident in myself, and more importantly so I can show God through action I am grateful for the gift of movement and life. Not all people are so fortunate, and some of life's greatest pleasures require only our bodies, running through grass, snow angels in the winter, hide and seek with your nephew, swimming under a waterfall by the side of the road. You get the picture. My body is not simply a vessel to house my soul and the Holy Spirit. It was created by God in His image and likeness, or so Genesis tells us at least. So I vow to walk a little taller and move a little more [even though it is killing my calf muscles right now, I know they'll be happy I set them to work...eventually].
But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him...Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
-1 Corinthians 17, 19-20 NAB
I also know that to better myself I need to financially be stable. Hello IRA, monthly savings, and loan pay offs. Oh, and thanks Mom and Dad for letting me live at home while I get my stuff together [that helps A LOT].
So, yeah, big plans, exciting plans. Yes, life altering scary plans. But if I don't let go of what is stagnant, I cannot proceed with the journey ahead of me. And thank God I've come to this realization at my age, rather than being wistful and in the midst of a midlife crisis.
I am content knowing I am doing something because the little things add up. And because they add up in a big way.
Okay,
Diez mil besos. sylyb.
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