"Post Road" Downs [aka the Funk]

I holed myself up today. Stayed in my pajamas, ate ice cream straight out of the carton, put on mellow music, did nothing worthwhile even though there's plenty to do. Today was a day of loafing around. Loafing and loathing.

I touched back down on Oklahoma soil yesterday to two eager friends and while I was happy to see them I could not cover my disappointment about leaving home, my family. I didn't cry at all, it did not seem fitting.

I sat down on my couch when I arrived to my apartment. I had never felt so alone but I could not bring myself to do anything but sit and stare. I sat while a storm raged until the middle of the night or more. And when I had sufficiently sat I laid in bed and listened to the rain and watched the lightning flicker.

I'm having a six month wall, a middle of the year funk here during my internship. I knew I would be sad to leave my family which is why I had a small stint of sadness, MY version of CSNY's Pre-Road Downs. I knew I would be this way when I returned.

I'm hoping that once classes start back up [and once I'm used to clinical rotations] I'll get back into the swing of things, I'll slap myself across the face and act like a big girl. Preparing for the real world, such a scary concept. Then again, I was never a "13 going on 30" type. So I'm going to take a bath and shake off this feeling and hopefully accomplish something productive until bedtime.

Miss you. Love you. Bye