Here is the email I sent him.
Hi Dad,
I'm sure you can pass on this word to Mom and the little brother [if he cares to know] as well.
Monday morning started off badly. I ended up spilling water, thankfully only water, all over the floor as I was putting my crock pot ingredients in to cook for the day. I forgot my towel, underwear, and to turn on the fan in the bathroom. My school cross, which I like to wear when I'm feeling a little nervous got tangled with all my other necklaces and couldn't be worn.
I had to arrive my first day at the hospital on Monday at 8 am. I decided to leave ten minutes early just in case. I did in fact arrive with ten minutes to spare but everyone and their brother was arriving at the same time. I waiting in line to show my ID for 15 minutes and got upstairs to the Nutrition and Food Services area ten minutes late. Great for a good first impression. However, I did not get reprimanded because he was not there, in fact his door was locked. Seeing that I looked like a small lost child someone assumed I was the new student and told me to wait on him while he was in a meeting.
For the majority of the day I read over policies and working positions in the kitchen. It was painstakingly boring. After I finished I got to meet some of the supervisors. I went up to get my fingerprints taken, car pass, and ID badge then go home a little early.
The fingerprints lady at HR was not there so I had to return later on. I did finally get my car pass but did not know where the parking lot was, nor how to use the shuttle to get there, nor was I pumped about learning you have to arrive 20 minutes before your scheduled time to get a shuttle on time [its a block over and not in the best part of town as you saw]. I still have yet to get in touch with the ID person to get my badge. He is not in his office and I have returned several times, left messages, and called multiple numbers.
As I was leaving I checked my phone and saw your text. I was texting back when I got a phone call from the apartment complex saying I still had $25 I owed [for every cosigner you need a $25 application fee]. Of course I told her I did not remember being informed about that.
After I hung up with her I figured I'd text you back after I got in the car [I forgot you were in the same time zone as me, I figured you'd already left by then]. Because I was in a hurry to get in the building I couldn't remember if I had locked the car and we ALL know how I am about that. So when I couldn't find my car between the two trucks I SWEAR I parked between I started crying in the middle of the parking lot. I thought someone had stolen my car. Of course I finally found my car a row over. When I sat down to text you you sent a message that you were boarding. That was the last straw, I started sobbing as I drove to find the employee parking and called you to tell you about my day.
So on the way back I got kind of lost, thankfully had the GPS, got into a scary part of town and managed to cut someone off. Took the wrong exit, had to get back on the highway and off again. To make matters worse I thought I had a flat tire because the noises I was hearing. The roads are not smooth. Mixed with the insane drivers and terrible road conditions I had had enough when I got back to the apartment.
Of course, I called Irv and she didn't answer. She called back later on. Navin texted me and I ended up crying to him on the phone instead. Oh, and my internet stopped working for a half hour, my wireless didn't even show up as an option but miraculously came back on. I don't know how long I spent trying to fix it. I was just getting ready to unplug it and replug things when it started working.
It wasn't that it was so horrible it was just the culmination of things and the overwhelming sense of work ahead and homesickness...and knowing I couldn't call you guys to vent.
Yesterday and today were ok. Much like a lost puppy I follow people around, give them lots of "tail wags" and smiles in hopes that they help me out. People [for the most part] have been very friendly and I feel more comfortable in asking the millions of questions I need/want to ask. There's probably 20ish staff members. Only two of them can pronounce my name right, what with their accent and my unusual name to them.
I'm exhausted already. Getting up so early [4 is still the middle of the night] is difficult. Going to bed so early is still foreign to me, I've been not napping to fix that. The time home, after work and class, has flown by. The times during work and class crawl. I know I'll be very ready to finish up and graduate come December. Looking much past tomorrow is scary though, so I don't. I'm dreading clinicals.
I think I'm going to two of the other girls' apartment on Friday to eat with another intern, get to know each other and the like.
I had to pay $7 in parking pass after class yesterday. I was two minutes after the deadline where I'd only have to pay $5. I also had a blond moment going in and forgot to hit the button to get the ticket. The guy at the window had to get out and show me and there was a line of cars behind me.
In short[ish], this week has been challenging. Good and bad. I miss you guys dearly. I wish I had the dog here with me to snuggle. I dreamed that I hadn't left yet which is sad to wake up from and haven't been sleeping well, I'm afraid I'll miss my alarm [I wake up probably 6 times a night since I've been home]. It's still not my bed either, not that it isn't comfortable. I'm scared to grow up and get a real job and have no idea what I want to do. I'm already excited about coming home in June for the graduation and time off and then December's graduation. I know I should be savoring this but things taste pretty bitter at the moment. Growing up is hard.
I love you so VERY VERY VERY much. Just hearing your voice and Mom's on the phone made me cry I was so happy.
Love you.
--- On Wed, 1/13/10, Dad wrote:
Hello my daughter.
Love you
Hello again, Mara! Yes, growing up is soooooo hard--- I am still growing up. It's still hard, but not as hard as some of the earlier growing up moments. It will get better. It will get easier. I promise. Brighter days are ahead. Remember, when you are weak--- God is able to work much better in you. He is carrying you in these dark moments. I know you are familiar with the "Footprints" story. He is infinitely strong, infinitely loving and infinitely wise. He arranged this internship for you because He knows you can do it and because it helps to form you into the person you were created to be. We are not created to be self-sufficient... we are made for communion with others and for helping others and for depending on our heavenly Father. Just as you love and depend on your amazing dad, God wants to have you depend on Him in an even deeper way-- for He loves you, too, even more perfectly than your earthly dad (wow!-- cuz you have an amazing dad).
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you.