Studying, WAIT no, NOT studying

I sat down this fine evening after a quick snack to catch up on my [very] behind studies for my exam. I put off studying long enough last week that eventually, although still not 100% finished yet, my room was organized. After having finished my last day teaching nutrition today to the freshmen health class I find that there is no longer a single excuse for me not to study. And so...

I began to study, cuddled up in a comfortable spot, notebook in hand, pen and flashcards at my side. I began to study and my eyelids began to get heavy. I began to doze off. And that brings us to this moment where instead of studying more I decided to treat my heavy eyelids with more snacks to munch on. I must tell you I have devised a sort of "RD approved detox*." It is rather unfortunate that I must even put myself on one of these. But I have to give at least one good excuse for why it is necessary. Okay, here goes. It's winter: there's a blanket of snow on the ground and the temperature has not gone above 30 degrees [besides that 32 degree heat wave last week] in quite some time.

Okay, so what does one do then when it's winter, snowy, and cold? Well, obviously you find a beach to relax on. Oh wait, I don't have money and am still searching for work. Scratch that idea.....EAT! Eat donuts, cookies, ice cream, fudge bars, concoctions of whipped cream and bananas with chocolate sauce. And you can't blame PMS for the entire winter as to why you eat every sweet in sight.

But wait, that's not all. If sweets weren't enough of the problem you have to factor in all those salty savory foods - sourdough pretzels and midnight popcorn creations.

Now, I could be exaggerating on about this, I do mean to say that I think about the food that goes in my system for the most part. You can blame that on my vast nutrition knowledge and anticipated letters behind my name...but still. The truth of the matter is the more we eat it the more we crave it and so I've determined that I will get the cravings out of my system and hopefully acquire some motivational energy in the process.

Until then, as it is the first full finished day of the process I have curbed my cravings with Triscuits, oranges, and nearly half a bag of grapes. Oh me, this too shall pass.

And in the meantime, would you all send up some prayers that my motivation to study and the information I'm looking over sticks in my brain. I need all the prayers I can get.

sylyb

*FYI, my 'detox' includes cutting the sweets, decreasing the sodium, and increasing the water. And as any nutritionally aware individual knows keeping the above 'detox' in line with whole grain, fruits & vegetables, lean protein, and low fat dairy creates a pretty perfect diet.

A Near Snap

Oh no! It's starting to wear on me, the unemployed graduate. I've had the fortune of not requiring to search for a job in these times of high unemployment rates. I was able to put it off just long enough. But no more.

Jobs have been relatively easy for me to come by. When you know a guy [or rather, are good friends with the owner's daughter] it's easy to get a job at Dairy Queen. When you don't play a sport every season they like hiring you on at the dry-cleaner's where they know you'll be able to work most afternoons and Saturdays. And then there's the job they created for me because I knew someone who worked there. Eventually though, this 'luck' too, must pass.

And so, as the studying continues and the days roll by without any job prospects [or at least ones that have a returned interest] I get a little more worried about my future at hand. Where am I being called to work? I need a job [any job] to start making loan payments, but are these jobs going to lead me to my intended location? Patience, Self, you'll get there. Just do the best you can as the days come. I wish this positive self talk was that easy.

Until then I just have to breathe, breathe, breathe. But despite this the stress still continues to build and the anxiety increases. I blame it on my impending BIGGEST-EXAM-EVER, messy room, murky future [where will I be in a few month's time?], you know life altering things. And as Mom quickly noticed exercise is essential to my sanity and without a wellness center to visit the treadmill is my only safe haven [what with the rain and snow outside]. And so, in the accompaniment of my trusty side kick [Sophie] off I walked with my study material in hand and my tennis shoes on.

Getting One's Act Together

I am notorious for being, well, slow. I will be the first to admit to...anyone really that I have one speed - my own. I am not a punctual individual [although I wish I could say that I was getting better].

So, being that I am now a well educated but poor and unemployed person I am happily sleeping in most mornings. What with the weather being a beautiful winter wonderland and a snow day keeping me from teaching nutrition to my ever enthusiastic [cough* not] freshmen class I am sitting at home thinking about my numerous accomplishments yesterday.

I mean that quite honestly. I have been avoiding doing anything [as I often times do] to further my step into the real world. You mean, if I apply for jobs I actually have to get one? You mean, if I register for the exam I have to eventually take it? Yes, yes. I am working on entering the work force. Being young is just so much easier.

So yesterday I adjusted my resume. Ahh yes, the resume of young graduate. A resume that contains all the workings of a student just trying to make enough money to get by - caterer, grill cook, dish room staff, custodian, RD assistant, free labor - oh wait, I'm sorry - intern, etc etc

From the resume adjustment to the frustration of applying for a job [although I can't complain too much, online applications are MUCH easier than the archaic paper versions]. And finally, the mother of all tasks, organizing how I'll be studying for the biggest test in the entirety of my existence.

And still - my room, being the disaster area that it is still requires some...okay, A LOT, of finessing to reach optimal organization. If I didn't master the art of packratism [that's a word, right?] it wouldn't take me near as long. I know how to put mementos inside of tins inside of boxes within compartments. No wonder I want to procrastinate on finishing it and no wonder it has taken several man hours to get to the state of disarray it is in right now. No matter, I've got NOTHING but time...well until the government decides they really do want that loan money back that they lent me.

New Snowfall

It's been awhile since I've posted on here but with the holiday season here and now gone, visitors no longer staying over, and Michael back at school I really have no excuse. So for the first time....ever! I am an only child. The house is quiet and meal times are far less boisterous.

I love the sound of snow crunching together under my feet. Most times I like to take a path when I walk through it and then retrace my steps so as not to ruin the perfect blanket that is laid down. Having an indecisive dog that doesn't know where she wants to 'go' kind of ruins that but on this peaceful evening I am grateful. I am grateful for all the wonderful little things that we so often overlook.

The winter time, after the holiday season is over, makes me feel like hunkering down. What with the blanket of snow laying on the ground and the sun sinking well before 6 pm the quiet starts very early. Something about the heavy hanging clouds and the snow makes everything seem still and serene. The tree branches hang low, heavy with the the weight of freshly fallen snow. Beautiful. Peaceful. Full of wonder.

I'm not close to getting a job, in fact instead I'm teaching freshmen about nutrition, most of which don't salivate over nutrigenomics or locally grown organics [nothing like myself or my fellow nutrition nerds normally would]. I am however preparing myself for the big boards exam and searching for employment at a location that both seems fitting and desiring of my [cough] lack of experience.

And yet I am happy. I am content. I am here and I am trusting in the plan that will unfold as soon as I get my room cleaned up...which is very, very unorganized [but it will be immaculate very soon. My fascination with apartmenttherapy.com ever increasing].

sylyb.

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.